Today, at my maternal grandmother’s wake, I decided I deserved a piece of cake as it had been a hard day. I was serving myself a slice when my paternal grandma caught my eye from across the room, making a “fat face” at me. She called out, loudly, “You don’t need it Pudgy.” FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML
Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML
Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face for stifling a yawn at my grandmother’s funeral. I wasn’t being disrespectful; I have a condition. FML
Today, my parents threw out the beautiful birthday cake my aunt made me, and served celery sticks at my party because I need to "watch my weight." FML
Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MorganHex 28
remind herit could be her funeral next
nitemare0 17
You should have replied "Watch out, you're next! And I'll have cake then too!"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (7)
MorganHex 28
remind herit could be her funeral next
RichardPencil 32
And at her funeral, you're gonna eat all the ******* cake you want!
RichardPencil 32
You gotta believe the deceased grandma is looking down from Heaven on this exchange. I wonder whose side she's on. My money is on "other grandma."
genuinegoodguy 9
You already know yourself if it’s true
nitemare0 17
You should have replied "Watch out, you're next! And I'll have cake then too!"
lukey101 26
Can neither confirm nor deny YDI without some stats. So fess up, what do you weigh?
JackFaire 27
Most people that are fat eat less food than skinny people. While there are some people fat due to food it's mostly due to the prevalence of desk jobs and other sedentary activities being more accessible than physical activities. They'd be better off telling the skinny person with high cholesterol who eats sweets all the time and is clogging their arteries to lay off the junk.
OnReceivingEnd 18
ME: "Well, I don't need you, either, and unlike you, I actually LIKE cake."