Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for a guy. I was the only one who knew he was bisexual. Now everyone thinks I "turned him gay." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he insists I bit his penis during sex, and that I'm a crazy, man-hating psycho. It’s not true, I’ve just not given many blowjobs before, my technique stinks, and my teeth touched his skin a little. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
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Top comments
kianaaa32 17
Count it as a blessing that he broke up with you, you don't want to be with someone that stupid anyways.
thomas5915 16
Well it sounds like he wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. Find a guy that does
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Comments (272)
blargblah 12
If he's that stupid you're probably better off without him.
doeydo 1
Is it freakishly big or something?
zurtleturtle 1
Okay, I never comment on FMLs, but I have to interject here. He's actually right. The ******** is made of the same tissue as the penis, and when the woman is aroused, actually becomes engorged with blood just like a penis. Everyone starts out as a female fetus, and if the Y gamete that codes for a male is present and activated, the ******** develops into a penis and the ovaries eventually begin to descend into testicles. I can almost guarantee that wasn't what the boyfriend was talking about, but he's not wrong.
withered 30
#248 You wanted to show off your "knowledge" yet you claim OP is a hermaphrodite because she has a ********? Penis develops from ******** and they are similar but one organ is female and one is male. Magical stuff, I know. For her to be a hermaphrodite she would need to have both sexual organs/characteristics. And having ONE (penis OR ********) is not having BOTH just because those 2 things are similar.
coolbrooekr843 1
When my sister. was little and bathing with our older brother she once said "look I have apenis too"... that was the last time they bathed together
KatStyles 10
What the hell..? How old are you guys then????
smilez1990 8
in all actuality it is. . . the clit is an undeveloped penis which if u notice playing with the head of a penis gives the man the same pleasure as it would if u rub the clit
Sacytrl 28
He will be seeing those tiny penises everywhere. Imagine the shock that poor thing has to suffer.
darkfireflame 15
Better that his genes don't spread and infect the whole pool.
gamber9210 13
Lmao. That does suck. Sadly I'll admit. When I first noticed my ********. I thought it was a tiny penis and had to call my mother because I thought I was male.
Gamecast20 5
Well actually its sorta true its the remants of a penis from when u were developing in the womb same thing with guys nipples are the same way now if I remember right it hasnt been 100% proven but its been said by some doctors that its true but ya sorry bout the boyfriend problem