Today, my leadership class was trying to decide who would run the kissing booth in our local carnival. Someone suggested me, to which the director replied, "We'd never make any profit with her." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my town had a carnival to raise money for cancer. I ran a kissing booth, when a really cute guy came up paid his $20, looked at me, and said "not even for cancer." He took his money and left. FML
Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML
Today, I was participating in an activity to join a program which I really wanted to join. One of the teachers in charge seemed to notice my efforts and asked if I wanted to join the program. I said yes, thinking I had a chance. She laughed, shook her head before saying no and walking away. FML
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
Today, my school's theater production was canceled. Not because of budget, but because my co-star fell in love with me and asked me out. When I pointedly declined, he refused to act alongside me since it was "awkward." Everyone's blaming me for it. FML
Today, I had an hour-long meeting with my manager where she informed me the reason I had not been promoted is because she felt that people would not like to work for me, because I would, "make them do their job." FML
Today, I was doing a sewing project in class. My friend said we should get the teachers to model our designs. I said that I did not think I would have enough material to make clothes for one of the teachers. I said this in front of the whole class very loudly, while the teacher was right next to me. FML
Today, I went to a work event and was having my picture taken with a coworker. Since we had done karaoke together, someone said we should pose like we were singing. I held my hand up like I was holding a mic and opened my mouth. It looked like I was performing a sex act. My boss glared at me. FML
Today, my boss caught me singing and dancing in the office when I thought no one was around. Trying to save face, I told him I was just practicing for a team-building event. He smiled and said, "Great, you can lead the next one." Now I have to choreograph a team-building dance. FML
Today, it was our class field trip. I got five dollars from ten different people because they wanted me to sit away from them. FML
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Top comments
Xquisite1 28
Tell the director to be your first client by kissing your ass.
feldco1 17
Your director is an ass but I think it's sweet that someone suggested you!
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Comments (64)
Xquisite1 28
Tell the director to be your first client by kissing your ass.
slick5880 22
At least Op can pass up herpes. Yay Op!
lamdat5r 10
Cruel, cruel capitalism
patebishop 7
FYL OP, the director didn't have to be so mean
inzunza 5
HA Op is ugly lol
feldco1 17
Your director is an ass but I think it's sweet that someone suggested you!
MrBond007_fml 6
I'm really sorry, I swear I'm not a grammar nazi. Under any other circumstances I wouldn't care, but I'm genuinely curious. Was the "director an ass, but" you think? Or was the "director an ass butt. You think" (which is a little redundant, but funny)? I'm pretty sure it's the first one, but I really want it to be the second one.
thats_my_job 11
35-we can tell.
perdix 31
#2, unless they did it as a goof -- like electing Carrie to be prom queen just to soak her in pig blood.
RedPillSucks 33
@35 In GNAnon (Grammar Nazi anonymous) you've got to stand up and declare. However, wouldn't "ass but" be redundant, and wouldn't it be "ass butt" if that's what she really meant? *runs and hides in the back of the GNAnon room*
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Proceed to suggest their mother, since she's used to people taking turns with her.
DKjazz 20
You'll just start your own kissing booth, with blackjack, and hookers.
TwoXMike 14
Forget the kissing booth and the blackjack.
wlddog 14
I believe 5 was referring to a Futurama gag, where bender goes to make his own, whatever, except to make it better then his friends he wants to add flapjacks (old term for pancakes) and hookers.
TrueTriage 16
Either your director is a douche bag or he was attempting to be funny. All in the tone of his voice.
Docbee 11
They'd never make a profit because nobody can afford your beauty :)
Bibliovore 26
Or perhaps they'd all be afraid that someone close to you would beat the tar out of anyone who paid to kiss you. 8-)
Demonfish 14
Prove him wrong; kiss him right there and then! That'll show him! (of course that is assuming that you're a good kisser, if not you may just embarrass yourself...) Or you could brutally murder him with a machete, that could help :)
Docbee 11
Yes, murder always helps. Let's go drown some puppies and strangle some orphans with their intestines while we're at it.
Demonfish 14
I'm sorry, I forget that people actually take the darker aspect of my sense of humour seriously. Perhaps I should tone it down a little, perhaps I should censor my thoughts for the benefit of the squeamish, but I'm not going to, it's too much fun.
supportcommand 17
Wow. That's a bit harsh. Lets just leave the puppies alone. Strangle all the orphans you want. Nobody will miss them anyway.
Archay 13
I'm a bad person for laughing at 17's comment.
liv_graham 7
#36 ya.
screenager5 35
Hey, someone in that class thinks you're attractive and made it known to the whole group! A lot of girls would kill for that kind of attention.
MikeFoxtrot01594 11
Or they were just trolling.
Docbee 11
There are many ways! You can hand out complimentary tanks(life-sized), you could pay them to kiss you, hand out everyones' wallets... and the list goes on!
license2chill 5
Is it just my phone showing "kissing both" instead of "kissing booth"?
misspennycakes 7
Magical phone
screenager5 35
I see the same thing. Didn't even notice until you pointed it out :b