Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML
Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML
Today, my husband and I had a HUGE fight, but we had amazing make up sex so I figured it was over. When I woke up, I realized my mistake. I was tied to the four bed posts completely naked and a sign was taped on the ceiling. "Repairman coming in an hour. Gave him a key. Have all your clothes. Have fun." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today, I ran into my parents' bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door, my parents were on top of each other, laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML
Today, my blanket got caught on my nose ring and it took my boyfriend over an hour to get it free. Afterwards, he admitted he was trying not to laugh because it reminded him of a bullfight. FML
Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
latenitekid 5
you brought the bed with you?
The_Hitdude 12
Amused...or aroused?
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Comments (79)
bobbeta30 14
First! My first first. Deal with it.
Paco_el_Taco 17
Another awesome first post...
Damn_Hippster 11
1-prepared to be thumbs down in 3..2..1. This FML sounds like the Stephen King book Gerald's Game.
bobbeta30 14
Yah, sorry. I blanked on what to say.
soccerguy2 11
It would have been hilarious if you weren't first with that comment. other people had posts the same minute as you.
white16sox 19
I'm glad you were moderated.
SultanRS 12
Every time someone says "first" on the internet, a lolcat dies. I hope you know this #1.
DrDilllonReese 12
And every time someone bitches about the first comment there's another idiot posting a crappy first comment. And that is the never ending circle of life
mugu 0
$5 Vvirtual cat... hmm... sad... Sic FYL
Quidikic 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
LOLOLOL YOU FAILLL
StanSmith_fml 9
LOLOLLOL so do you.
lopsop 12
Your picture made me laugh so I thumbed it up
theevilduchess 12
Was being the first commenter that important to you? Really?!
causticgirl 6
Kinky f--kery never fails. Buy new cuffs and try again. Way to keep it spicy
eternalkaos 7
they do fail
Badbrock 6
Nice pic
studdmuffin1990 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Doesn't matter had sex
studdmuffin1990 7
Also, pics or it didn't happen
alexup24 13
3/8- You're such a comedy genius.I'm being sarcastic people, don't take it seriously.
CaramelMacchiato 13
I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
bunniex1 11
I like ur profile pic
Zomg_Okay 27
Kepler-22b is that way. *Points*
Llamacod 11
I too used to tell over used comments, then I took an arrow to the knee ;)
OkitaCockroach 19
48 i like yours...
studdmuffin1990 7
**** you ****
tylerthedope 0
Wtf!?
studdmuffin1990 7
Haha umad bros?
emba_fml 13
ohhh my god I think this guy only knows how to speak using internet memes
bunniex1 11
Apparently people don't lik me when I give a compliment... Meanies
laden_swallow09 35
68 - IN the knee! IN! If you're gonna do it, do it right.
nado13579 12
127- I'm pretty sure it's TO the knee.
studdmuffin1990 7
****** bitches
The_Hitdude 12
Amused...or aroused?
RealReasons 0
If I was one of the firemen I would be "amused" too.
GaleHawthorne 0
/)
RealReasons 0
(
Kazze 31
Both. And what is up with the parenthesis and slashes?
latenitekid 5
you brought the bed with you?
juliekkk 4
Op said one of the cuffs wouldn't open. Therefore, they opened one and the other one was just around her leg, not the bed.
HiIAmKevin 8
She said she waddled to the station though...you don't have to waddle with a pair of cuffs around your ankles.
awsome13 10
You have to waddle if you don't want the cuffs hitting you in the leg every step
Keevarou 17
Looks like you two were in a sticky situation. But fyl and YDI though, you should have known about it before^^ always try things of they are new before using it :3 At least you're free from it now, so that's good ^^
ginglederf 6
U look like France
white16sox 19
How does one look like a country? Because I want to look like Ireland.
emeraldisle 30
What does Ireland look like exactly?
Alexisthebestest 16
He can't look like France, though. He said he is the reincarnation of Kurt Cobain.
dmblonde 13
Keevarou are you really from Norway? I'm Norwegian :)
Keevarou 17
Yeah I am, I do my country proud, Jk.. But I'm Norwegian :)
Comet_Candy 23
13 - Was that a Hetalia reference?
nublets 12
38- ireland looks like whiskey and potatoes. Good stuff.
MeeshaMeeshaPup 8
71- I do believe it was good sir. Only the anime fans will understand.
dmblonde 13
I like being Norwegian :) I'm all blonde and white and stuff haha.
TheBonzaiGirl 0
That was a perfect Hetalia reference, and yes he absolutely looks like France! Everyone should google it if you want to see countries engaging in semi-homosexual moments. You haven't lived until youve seen Italy caress Germany's buttocks.....
doctorhook86 25
This thread is radically taking a turn for the gayer
someguy998 8
except for the ones with good taste.
Aquaa_fml 0
How did you waddle to a fire station with your leg attached to a bed?
The_Hitdude 12
They probably broke off the portion of the bed she was attached to (i.e. The post, staff, etc.)
Sacrilegious666 6
her bf dialed 911 I guess....
KiddNYC1O 22
Really? ^
MidnaLink 35
Great minds ask alike...
venomousddog 19
Very carefully
rooney0710 5
First for everything.
supersmeg12345 10
Seems like quite a fun event. And at least you got laid!
DocBastard 40
Hack saws work wonders. Don't worry, the doctors can reattach your foot. Wait, I suppose you could just cut the cuffs instead...no, go with the foot.
GawdamitNappa 4
Just don't cut the wrong one. Dr. Phil paid for that big time.
thatoneguy79 10
If you cut the cuffs, then this could happen to you again in the future with another faulty pair of cuffs. If you listen to your doctor, then you will not have to worry about getting stuck again, as you will be able to simply remove your foot. You can have your kink and walk away too; win-win. Always remember, Doc knows best.