Today, I tried to open a jar by tapping the lid on the counter. I tapped it so hard, the jar shattered, and I now have more spaghetti sauce on my pyjama pants than in the pot. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I caught a falling jar in the kitchen with one hand and I felt like an action hero. In celebrating, I yelled, “Did you see that?!” The jar then slipped out of my hand, smashed onto the floor, and splattered sauce all over me. My roommate flipped me the finger and left me to clean up. FML
Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML
Today, after a shitty day, I went to the kitchen to make myself something to eat. When I grabbed the salt container, the bottom lid came off and the salt went everywhere. FML
Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML
Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML
Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML
Today, I woke up earlier to food prep for lunch later. Just as I was preparing the ingredients, I dropped a thick glass saucer on the kitchen counter and it shattered like a hail storm - everywhere in the kitchen. I ended up spending more time cleaning it out and obviously logged in to work later than usual. FML
Today, after sweeping up a spill, I managed to break the cupboard door. With my head. FML
Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML
Today, I cracked an egg which turned out to have an extremely thin shell, so at first contact with the bowl, it came apart in my hand and the contents glooped right through my fingers, all the way down the kitchen cabinet, into a half-open drawer, as well as onto the floor and underneath the cabinet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Underscore_foo 5
For goodness sake. Either run the jar under hot water so the metal top will expand or stick a butter knife under the jar top and lift till it makes a popping sound
smoochmysnoot 6
You shouldn’t have ANY of that sauce in the pot, it’s likely got broken glass in there..I wouldn’t eat it, but that’s just my opinion
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (2)
Underscore_foo 5
For goodness sake. Either run the jar under hot water so the metal top will expand or stick a butter knife under the jar top and lift till it makes a popping sound
smoochmysnoot 6
You shouldn’t have ANY of that sauce in the pot, it’s likely got broken glass in there..I wouldn’t eat it, but that’s just my opinion