Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML
Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML
Today, my husband and I had a HUGE fight, but we had amazing make up sex so I figured it was over. When I woke up, I realized my mistake. I was tied to the four bed posts completely naked and a sign was taped on the ceiling. "Repairman coming in an hour. Gave him a key. Have all your clothes. Have fun." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today, I ran into my parents' bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door, my parents were on top of each other, laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML
Today, my blanket got caught on my nose ring and it took my boyfriend over an hour to get it free. Afterwards, he admitted he was trying not to laugh because it reminded him of a bullfight. FML
Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
latenitekid 5
you brought the bed with you?
The_Hitdude 12
Amused...or aroused?
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Comments (79)
perdix 31
Oy, vey iz mir! You had to schlep your bed to the fire station after schtupping? Your boyfriend is a schmuck, but I'll bet the firefighters plotzed!
yummylicious 5
Unless your Jewish, you're being an antisemetic ****, using yiddish in a comment. If you are Jewish, shalom, me too
lopsop 12
This is just like the scene from Bruno
eman1972 4
I've been there, got the T-shirt. LOL
CharlieS0ul 0
You sir. Made my day
nadnerbz 6
You must be a body builder if you managed to walk all the way to the fire station with a bed around your ankle
mikeymayhem_87 15
Leather cuffs and rope are much more fun and easier to remove. Try those next time, OP!
Enslaved 38
Bolt cutters from Home Depot. Live and learn. Not need to get anyone else involved in your naughty business.
mikeymayhem_87 15
I don't think they have a Home Depot in Israel. I could be wrong though lol
perdix 31
I think the operative phrase in that sentence was "bolt cutters," and Home Depot was just an example of a place where such a tool could be found. The point is: If you're into kinky shit, you need to have all of the equipment to handle mishaps. This is why I keep a defibrillator, oxygen tank, backboard and a large bucket of Crisco close to where the action is ;)
mikeymayhem_87 15
Sounds like somebody was a boy scout. You seem quite prepared lol
fthku 13
Very wrong, #35. Why wouldn't we have Home Depot? To OP, YDI for not checking first but mainly for not being able to open it. Always keep tools in the house.
Kendrakitten 4
Is somebody a bit of a Dominant? XP
cheyennerosi33 0
That's to ******* funny
OkitaCockroach 19
Though I'm wondering- Why just your legs? Isn't it usually hands...? XD
SloppyFlamingo 4
I think they did the hands too, but both came off so they just didn't include it.
rattusrattus 19
It's more fun if you force the legs open. You could do this by using a spreader bar, or by cuffing the ankles to the bedposts.
alfred07 18
Not all the time, there is even such a thing as ankle cuffs.
pagullarka 9
Don't complain you know it was your idea :)
pdawg101 8
Sounds like fun!!
quincykid23 6
The sex.... Or going to the fire station?
jacobboothe 2
You Look like fun