Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after seven months of my supporting him, including paying all the bills, cleaning the house, and cooking, my unemployed "aspiring rapper" boyfriend finally got paid for his music. Did he buy me something nice? No, he called his boys to hit the club and pissed away everything he'd earned and then some. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend uses me for two things. 1) My food. 2) My sister. FML
Today, I found out that while I was at my job as an "essential" employee, my laid-off boyfriend was at home banging the landlord's daughter. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and said he'd been fired from his minimum wage cashier job. He added that since I make enough to cover the bills, he wants to take a break from "working and shit." I stared at him, mouth agape, and he thought I was offering him a blowjob. FML
Today, I worked my boyfriend's shift so he could stay home. I even brought him the free meal I got for helping out. Turns out he wanted to stay home so badly to cheat on me. FML
Today, my unemployed scumbag boyfriend sold a painting I had just bought so he could buy phoney drugs that he told me he had quit. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his boss so he could get a promotion and "provide" for us. This from the guy who made me quit my job because he said he made enough money to support us both. FML
Today, after I helped get my boyfriend get a new job, he thanked me by dumping me for some whore who works there. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me. His excuse was that I never had time for his needs anymore. He’s unemployed but I guess me working and studying to get my degree so we could move out of his parents’ house was too much. Now I have no place to go. FML
Today, my obsessive ex, who recently cut my phone line to stop me from talking to my boyfriend of three years, got a job at the same restaurant where both my boyfriend and I work. FML
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Top comments
yoursucklives 36
well at least jo can have all the money from your minimum wage job for yourself now.
Mossadchick 5
Yeah he can pretty much kiss any monetary support you gave him goodbye after that stunt. Maybe your stepsis can help him out. After all she had the money for the whipped cream..
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Comments (158)
yoursucklives 36
well at least jo can have all the money from your minimum wage job for yourself now.
Donat96 20
You deserve someone better, OP. Someone who actually values your support and sacrifices. FYL.
gill4liife 0
You deserve someone who's willing to give back as much as they take. Someone who puts in the same amount of effort as you do, in a relationship.
Drigr 9
Based on the "now ex-boyfriend" part, I think OP realized they can do better too
llamafish 25
Who cares about jo? OP needs that money!
KnightAngela1109 10
Who needs him your a free bird now so go fly
GovernorGeneral 8
Whipped cream? Haha. Thats probably not whipped cream...
xStaciexLynnx 15
65- What man would want to lick his 'whipped cream' off of a woman? That's just wrong. I'm pretty sure it really was whipped cream...
doctorhook86 25
77 - Like with most cooking, the prep work involved would probably kill the mood.
GovernorGeneral 8
It couldve been anything. Youre right 77, no man would prolly lick his own off a girl...but who said it was a mans 'whipped cream'. I was simply implying that it could have ben something other than whipped cream...say melted icecream for example ? So back off.
False_Stupidity 42
I feel sorry for the poor cream being whipped...
thelastavailable 13
Was he basing it on THE Joe, who has a wife and three kids and works in a button factory..?
hellbilly205 17
Aye doctorhook is back around, nice.
meganbanggs 9
thats right, dont ever settle for less then what you deserve!
LoveGuru69 0
ha! i didnt know anybody else knew that song!
theevilduchess 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI, If you support him and y'all ain't even together. I don't know which one of y'all needs to get slapped more
mhopper 13
Obviously she won't be supporting him anymore! How can she possibly deserve this?!
pmr1990 12
I'm pretty sure that the 'ex' part only came into being as a result of this experience. Sorry OP :(
NereidAlbel 14
I don't think you quite understand WHY he's now her ex...
llamafish 25
She was with him when she supported him...now neither of the above are true. Edit: okay multiple people beat me to it...
THE_A_TEEN 28
I think you need to get slapped. She is writing her FML in a way that it shows that the FML moment happened some time ago. Now he IS the ex.
theevilduchess 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sorry I misread. I thought she meant she was supporting her ex. But regardless, I have no sympathy. I know it's bad... But I can't help it.
maosquare 18
Well, bless your heart then.
keyyoutee 2
U must be new to FML if u didn't get that he became the ex after she found him in the act.
theevilduchess 12
51- :D you made me giggle.
jjessen 20
51- Wheres your list of reasons?
jjessen 20
I meant 28 *facepalm*
GovernorGeneral 8
BATMAN !!! ITS BATMAN !!!!! I FOUND BATMAN !!!!!!!!!!!!
Colonel_Lexi 18
28-"theevildutchess"? Watch out, we have a badass over here.
grands138 4
Someone should also you for using "y'all" two sentences in a row.
theevilduchess 12
all right. let's handle this in one quick comment! 56- I have a list going in my head. But do you really care enough for me to type it all out? BC I gotta tell ya, I'm not that witty. 66- I'm Adam West, bitch! I like you. You're good people 68-Yes... yes I'm a bad ass. But unfortunately my name comes from a book I used to read to my godkids when they were little. don't tell anyone. 70- I know. I'm horrible. but at least I spelled it "y'all' instead of "yall". I should be shot for not saying a different form of "you all"... but really who has the time?
doctorhook86 25
Y'all best stay outta Duchess' way, she's distant royalty.
GovernorGeneral 8
74 - you have all the time in the world considering you took some to write that long ass response xD Oh and im lebron james.
vassal44 9
Ever heard of a good sumaritan? And yes I know I butchered the spelling but artists have spell check for that so I'm fine.
vassal44 9
Whoops disregard that please... I misread the fml...
ifoundalaska 11
But you're an idiot
maosquare 18
74, you do realise that you've written "bless you're heart" instead of "bless your heart" on your profile?
noothernamesfree 5
This is the most amount of dislikes I've seen on a comment
theevilduchess 12
109- That's bc when I decide to be a raging ass-hat I do it right. I was kinda hoping to see if I could get to 200... but then someone started thumbing up. But it's ok. This FML is old now... I'm sure I'll find another FML about a simpering girl and her meany of a boyfriend again soon.
UmBongos 3
66- You did :D
theevilduchess 12
123- I know! I just saw!!! :D
BeatifulPenguin 4
I kinda have to agree with #2...
mad_hatter0666 22
Probably you for not reading the post correctly. :D
mazio09210517 5
you're an idiot.
burnforeternity 30
They WERE together, before she caught him doing this, when she saw that they were through.
Mossadchick 5
Yeah he can pretty much kiss any monetary support you gave him goodbye after that stunt. Maybe your stepsis can help him out. After all she had the money for the whipped cream..
Il_Maestro 6
Nah, step-sister is pissed too. Something about too much texting during sex.
causticgirl 6
Those two deserve each other. Get out and get on with your life.
doctorhook86 25
I, for one, wanna hear more about the step-sister. And the whipped cream.
nublets 12
81- perfect ******* pic/comment combo
llamafish 25
Sell your step-sister into slavery to support his music.
btnhdude 0
How about she just sell the step-sister and keep the money for herself.
Jakesterk96 8
How about we all just calm the **** down.
llamafish 25
I dunno about you, but I'm quite calm.
jjessen 20
39 just needed a reason to say the word ****.
shanemaximo 7
You know what a whipped cream can will do to a human skull? Time to find out.
kayla_ann0o 9
Shoulda just went back to work.
chester75 5
I'm sorry OP, but now you can get someone who respects you and can financially support himself.
perdix 31
First mistake: supporting a "musician" boyfriend. Did they at least have a camera rolling? He obviously doesn't have the talent to make it in music, at least he might make a few bucks in Internet ****.
THE_A_TEEN 28
NO!