Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML
Old dog, new tricks
Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML
Dominion
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
Please stay!
Today, my girlfriend cried and begged me not to leave her, saying her "hickey" was a burn from a curling iron. That might be believable if it was one on her neck and not in four places on her tits and thighs. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Where you been?
Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe I'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Top comments
Cheeley 17
Those vacuums can be pretty deceiving.
Welshite 40
It's true. Poor guy was just trying to clean his house when the vacuum decided to revolt and attacked him. Those machines are violent at times.
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Comments (104)
Skittlezluva 6
That sucks
tararochelle 18
How does anyone say OP deserves this?
BrookieAnn 19
Nah
BrookieAnn 19
If my boyfriend did that I'd be pissed...take a vacuum to his southern regions and see how he reacts haha would serve his cheatin ass right praying for ya
NeinKittenz 20
Trans-species vaccume? Side note: Those Dysons are pretty sexy, i mean look at those damn curves!
NeinKittenz 20
At least he didn't get a vacuum HIV. I heard that sucks.
Jacksparrow72 21
April fools?
youjeanss 4
What if he was actually saying the truth?
mr_lonely22 1
may be he is hiding some thing from you... get known of it... otherwise u may dump some day....
ragini95 16
If he's that stupid then maybe it was actually the vacuum?
StanSmith2013 26
I would appear James Dyson has fitted a device to his vacuum cleaners that go for their owners throats when they least expect it.