tkrause
Nelson, Canada
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
anonymous
Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML
IloveJapan
Japan
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Old dog, new tricks
Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
LonelyHeart
United States
Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML
baby.momma2
Dominion
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
she CHEATED! she LIED! she's FULL OF SHIT!
United States
Please stay!
Today, my girlfriend cried and begged me not to leave her, saying her "hickey" was a burn from a curling iron. That might be believable if it was one on her neck and not in four places on her tits and thighs. FML
Anonymous
Pleasantville, United States
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Anonymous
Swindon, United Kingdom
Where you been?
Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe I'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML
Anonymous
River Falls, United States
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Top comments
Cheeley 17
Those vacuums can be pretty deceiving.
Welshite 40
It's true. Poor guy was just trying to clean his house when the vacuum decided to revolt and attacked him. Those machines are violent at times.
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Comments (104)
MrsxBillxKaulitz 5
Had that same excuse pulled on me once, OP. :(
terri4x7 10
Same thing happened to me except he told me he was allergic to Mosquitos -.-
JamesOnToast 5
Those things can do that!
ExcitingChives 10
Maybe its from a violin
CharlesScene 3
did anyone else see the fml where a guy said his friends used a vacuum to give him a hickey and his girlfriend wont believe it. I burst out laughing after making the connection
BaileyGlur 1
This is funny because there is another FML about a guy who passed out drunk and his friends gave him a hickey with the vacuum, and that he was going to see his girlfriend later.
thatonebach 9
Me and the vacuum go way back. It is every guy's first love.
Flubberwuffer 9
Do you know the amount of people that play with vaccuns
xxthechosenguyxx 13
I'm pretty sure I saw another story similar to this one about a guy who's friends gave him a hickey with a vacuum while he was asleep or something and he was worried about he would explain to his girlfriend.
talicaroxi 25
My ex came home from fishing with several love bites. his excuse I gave them him. I can't stand them. he didn't understand why I kicked off