tkrause
Nelson, Canada
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
anonymous
Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML
IloveJapan
Japan
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Old dog, new tricks
Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
LonelyHeart
United States
Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML
baby.momma2
Dominion
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
she CHEATED! she LIED! she's FULL OF SHIT!
United States
Please stay!
Today, my girlfriend cried and begged me not to leave her, saying her "hickey" was a burn from a curling iron. That might be believable if it was one on her neck and not in four places on her tits and thighs. FML
Anonymous
Pleasantville, United States
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Anonymous
Swindon, United Kingdom
Where you been?
Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe I'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML
Anonymous
River Falls, United States
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Top comments
Cheeley 17
Those vacuums can be pretty deceiving.
Welshite 40
It's true. Poor guy was just trying to clean his house when the vacuum decided to revolt and attacked him. Those machines are violent at times.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (104)
grrrrrrrreat 8
You can in fact give yourself a hickey with a vacuum.
LouisianaBob 9
At least you found out this way instead of contracting an std from him.
nifa86 12
My mate used to pinch and twist our necks to create this very problem
whY402Jay 12
"I told you not to interrupt me when i'm cleaning my room." -Doofy
Leasha3 14
Vacuums can be hard to resist!
Bibliovore 26
Well, sure, if "The Vacuum" is the nickname of the person with whom he's having an affair. (Or he was bored and just kind of stuck the vacuum tube on his neck to see what would happen. If it's perfectly round, maybe he spoke the truth. But either way, not so bright.)
NeinKittenz 20
Is she called "The vacuum" because she sucks things up?
TwentyFourXXIV 13
April Fools! XD
Donnie_Murray 8
It can be something else though.. But, you should talk or dump.
MythsNLegends 10
The vacuum came on to me first.
ryan1268 18
cheaing these days are unbelieveable. dump him now u desurve better.