tkrause
Nelson, Canada
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
anonymous
Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML
IloveJapan
Japan
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Old dog, new tricks
Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML
LonelyHeart
United States
Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML
baby.momma2
Dominion
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
she CHEATED! she LIED! she's FULL OF SHIT!
United States
Please stay!
Today, my girlfriend cried and begged me not to leave her, saying her "hickey" was a burn from a curling iron. That might be believable if it was one on her neck and not in four places on her tits and thighs. FML
Anonymous
Pleasantville, United States
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Anonymous
Swindon, United Kingdom
Where you been?
Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe I'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML
Anonymous
River Falls, United States
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Top comments
Cheeley 17
Those vacuums can be pretty deceiving.
Welshite 40
It's true. Poor guy was just trying to clean his house when the vacuum decided to revolt and attacked him. Those machines are violent at times.
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Comments (104)
Chucklikesbacon 12
Aah, my mistake!
beehardxcore 26
Tell him to be careful about putting his dick in there, since he probably won't be putting it near you any time soon.
gracehi 33
So you're saying... My dog was just protecting me from the vicious neck-hungry vacuum all these years? And here I was thinking he was just stupid.
chocofudges94 8
"See, babe? This is why YOU should do the cleaning from now on."
doodlecloud 27
For some reason, I'm actually don't think it's that unbelievable. I've read about teen boys doing a lot of dumb stuff on the internet, including on FML, and it wouldn't surprise me if he was dared by mates or if he wanted to find out whether a vacuum could actually do that. *shrugs*
JesseAttack 21
Unless it has a shape that could ressemble a vacuum...
dead_insects 18
so not only is he a cheating liar....but also a fucktard. cute. i think i would rather have herpes than a dipshit like that....
Bibliovore 26
Uhhh, no. One can break up with a partner like this. Herpes, however, would be permanent.
NeinKittenz 20
OAH? Overly Attached Herpes?! Quick, someone make a meme!
slappygecko 21
Well, there are fetishes for that kind of thing.
baileymariee 10
Gotta watch out for those vacuums. They bite
MrConcise 35
Classic cartoons filled with sentient vacuums beg to differ.
Megan639 16
Curling iron maybe?