Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because my mom's lazy eye creeps him out, and that my dad hates him. She doesn't have a lazy eye, he's never met my dad, never seen my mom, and now according to his friends, he's been cheating on me for the past two weeks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because apparently my mom hates him and doesn't want us to be together. My mom died six years ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? He said his mom didn't want us together anymore. His mom died three years ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, he spoke with my mom and the fact that she wants me dead is a huge red flag. FML
Today, my boyfriend just told me that his mom told him to break up with me, and that she would pay him to do it. His mom is a bitch. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wasn't feeling our two-month relationship was up to par with his parents' 30-year marriage, and, furthermore, I wasn't similar enough to his mother. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How? He invited my mother to his house for coffee with his parents, and told her. She then had to come home and tell me I’d been dumped. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my mom and started acting strange. Then my dad came in and was instantly furious. Apparently, my boyfriend is the guy my mom cheated with that caused my parent's divorce. He’s 3 years younger than I am. Gross mom, just gross. Also I’m single again, damn it. FML
Today, my dad made me and my boyfriend break up. Not because he was a bad influence, but because I was. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of 2 weeks home to meet my mom and she started talking about how she really wants a lot of grand-kids. He called 2 hours later and broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
emeraldisle 30
He's just making excuses to break up with you. You're better off without him OP.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
I don't understand, did he not at least try to come up with an ACTUAL reason to dump you? At least you don't have to deal with that douche anymore
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Comments (155)
emeraldisle 30
He's just making excuses to break up with you. You're better off without him OP.
_ebbonyy 11
Especially if he's shallow enough to list 'your mums lazy eye' as a fair reason to break up.
Trisha_aus 15
Are blokes getting dumber by the day or is it just me? What does her mom's eye have to do with their relationship?! utter fuckclump
Amethyst888 14
Fuckclump, that made my day :)
pinkWabbits 0
It was for the better OP. Not only did he give lame excuses but he couldn't even do that right. I think you dodged a bullet with this one.
ucoolgirl31 20
Eh.. This calls for a back-hand bitch slap
taco_bender 12
You deserve better OP. Cheating bfs arnt worth keeping around especially if they dnt feel bad about cheating.
TwiztedYuri 9
there are those hit it and quit it duchefucks in this world. they will do anything to get laid then when they're done playing with you they move on to the next one. I was friends with one of those a while ago.
GovernorGeneral 8
Shit i accidently started reading this as ' today, my mom broke up with me' ._.
Llamacod 11
taco, its "aren't" and "don't" is it really that hard to put in the 1 extra letter in each word?
GirlOnFire143 6
Llama, is it really that hard to put an apostrophe between the "it" and the "s" in "it's"? If you're going to be a spelling nazi, at the very least spell words right in your own comments.
taco_bender 12
My bad. I was never good in english class.
GovernorGeneral 8
How do you bend tacos? Oh master, please teach me.
taco_bender 12
Ummm ok I guess. Get tortillas y carne asada.
taco_bender 12
Then you add the secret formula. This secret formula to the tacos is.....
Girlybanana 2
Maybe he has met your mom. Maybe that's who he's cheating on you with. That would explain why your dad hates him.
starman02 12
#100- good theory! My theory is he is probably just a douche bag :)
zoPwNAgEzo 21
I don't understand, did he not at least try to come up with an ACTUAL reason to dump you? At least you don't have to deal with that douche anymore
NuTrees 9
Idk. But after each line, my mouth dropped that much more. Then I was like huh?
sonrisapreciosa 6
Maybe he thought she was the other girl? O.o
KrazieKleo 13
Good riddance. He did all the work for you. On to the next one.
DontClickOnMe 28
Well obviously he was just making up those things as excuses. Oh well, you deserve better than him anyway if he can't tell you the real reason why he's breaking up with you.
ICastillo 25
Dude I clicked, your pic is scary as hell man!!
Wizardly01 6
To me, when I saw his photo, I was just like, "Meh".
GirlOnFire143 6
I was like, O.O Made my day.
andrew1994001 5
How can I get a girlfriend?
Sirin_fml 47
1) Get drunk. 2) Strip naked. 3) Film yourself doing the Mambo in front of a Perdix tribute poster. 4) Post a link to the video in your profile. 5) Receive girlfriend (or hate mail). You are welcome.
golfer_boi 10
Ugh, why can't you thumb up FML team comments??!!
Trisha_aus 15
Oh lord! How I wish I can thumbs up sirin's comment
coldashell 23
You could man the **** up and ask a chick out?
laden_swallow09 35
19 - They're FML Mods. They already know they're tha shit. Lol
flockz 20
1. go to a public place and find beautiful and desirable women. 2. tell them everything you want to do nasty, sexual things with them (my two girlfriends right now loved it) 3. line your bedroom with rose petals. 4. shut the plantation blinds. 5. oil em up. make the skin soft and silky. 6. shove your rod into one and switch to the other when you get tired. 7. scream their name as you cream onto your racecar sheets. JILL!!! JILL!!! best part is they'll never leave you again and neither one is jealous of the other. and they'll even wipe your ass if you want them to! best. threesome. ever.
debbster7 18
There is just so much wrong with your comment, 52... It's a blasphemy.
flockz 20
thanks :) you sound like a fun person.
GirlOnFire143 6
Two girlfriends, eh? Classsay. (hope you got that hint of sarcasm)
taco_bender 12
Well if his right hands called Jill he might be telling the truth.
GirlOnFire143 6
ROFL, taco_bender... :P
GetDirtyDoWork 1
Lol #52 What in the **** did i just read
ss_20_xx 14
52, are you sure you're talking about actual girls or those real-life $10000 dolls?
Krysk_fml 0
Screw a girlfriend, where can I get a Perdix tribute poster?
WitchyArmyWife00 0
Get naked Pour a bucket of glitter all over yourself Stand in the sunshine and the girls will come running
Devin91 20
52 that's creepy
forever_born 6
Cause they no like us! :...(
Devin91 20
He's a dick, you can do better then that he's not worth it if he can't be a man and tell you the truth and how he's really feeling.
Trisha_aus 15
You are missing a head, sir
Devin91 20
At number 24: read my profile and you'll understand why.
laden_swallow09 35
This is FML, not a dating site.
challan 19
But 49... I'm attracted to your pink fuzzy skin, and FML stands for Future My Lovers
bizarre_ftw 22
*future made-up lovers/future MMS lovers Or, if you choose to meet up with them, what 54 said/rape
ImTheAlpha 30
Devin, where's your shirt?!?! I'll help you find it!!
taylorrbaby333 6
Tool.
mhopper 13
Am I the only girl enjoying the ridges and grooves of his eight pack? ^_^
MyChemicalSmosh 4
#112 Probably, I prefer cute cuddly boys, meaning, still has a bit of baby fat even at 14.
challan 19
112 of course not, I'm just assuming he's gay.
Jumpingmal2 7
I got the best kind of abs... FLABS I'm sexy and i know it
Devin91 20
128 thanks for assuming but I'm not gay.
JeanVaJean 6
Yeah, he probably mixed between you and some other girl he "knows" ( apparently, he "knows" a lot of girls ) You're absolutely better without him, OP.
CaramelMacchiato 13
Exactly! :) That's why he's her EX; because he's an EXample of who you shouldn't date.
Hed_Hunter 2
No top comment? Heres my chance... Hello
Skittles_Rawr 8
Ouch. That sucks bro...
Trisha_aus 15
No shit, bro
dcg1375 7
Seriously, bro
funnynesh 10
13- you mad bro?
nrr13145768 13
Bra** she is a girl
DynamicDave 11
Mansiere!
Skittles_Rawr 8
you people have issues.
Trisha_aus 15
And you still want to be with this bloke? Dump him, find yourself a gentleman
iloveursister 4
Well she cant really dump him because he kind of beat her to it
GothicAngel17 24
Find a gentleman? In this day and age? You're dreamin'.
Mariebaz 11
Actually, you can find a gentleman; but only if you yourself are a lady.
GothicAngel17 24
Not where I'm from!
Trisha_aus 15
Where are you from? And don't say the usual - America, where you can only find McCrap munchers...I'm sure there are lovely blokes..you just have to find one, that will take time and a few heartbreaks and you may find yourself eating ice cream and, listening to Adele but you'll get there..good luck
mhopper 13
Gothicangel17, was that last FML about the baby/fart you?! :)
GothicAngel17 24
113, most the men in QLD a far from gentlemanly. I'm engaged, but my fiancé is far from being a gentleman, just like most other males I've met who aren't older.
Trisha_aus 15
118- move to Victoria!
GothicAngel17 24
But it's coooooold there D: