Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML
Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML
Today, for some reason, my amazing dad told me to slide down towards a pole on a car tire while tobogganing down a hill and I hit the tire, consequently getting hurt in the head. I love my dad but something must've gone wrong that day. FML
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, while we were exploring a building, my dad and I somehow got separated. After about 30 seconds, I found him on the other side of a door, so I went to go through what I thought was a door. Instead, I smashed my head on a windowpane and collapsed to the floor in pain in front of 5 people. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML
Today, I parked, then opened my car door to get out, and somehow managed to practically knock myself out by banging my head on the frame, then on the car door that had slammed back into my forehead as I was still reeling from hitting the roof. A guy walking by asked if I was okay while trying not to laugh. FML
Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML
Today, my dad attempted to fix a power outlet. He managed to shock himself with 120 volts and fall backwards, landing on top of me. I am 85 pounds and he weighs 290 pounds. FML
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Top comments
awesome8021 3
So who won?
Ravena1213 0
I imagined this in cartoon form
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Comments (75)
iPeterPan 8
It would have made it better if you got electrocuted omg
FMLshark 12
Please do elaborate on how that would've been, in ANY way, "better".
GDIalex 11
#5 - The story would be more entertaining, duh! :D
wallandpiece 16
I think being electrocuted would have just added insult to injury. Unless the reason is "I'm a serial killer and I enjoy cutting girls up", please explain how being electrocuted could possibly make anything better.
ucoolgirl31 20
Well wasn't that convenient??
Purplefluff 6
Yes that sounds hilarious *sarcasm*
B3Y0ND 3
19, your picture fit really nicely with that serial killer comment. Them eyes, man, them eyes.
awesome8021 3
So who won?
SkoomaKi 28
I'd say the car.
ICastillo 25
I'd say the metal pipe won.
nado13579 12
I'd say the pavement.
taco_bender 12
I'd say the people that have that on video.
hecallsmedarlin 7
I'd say the doctor who sent out the bill....
zachherbert 10
I'd say us fellow FML'ers who read this.
Ravena1213 0
I imagined this in cartoon form
Nevereverland 8
Yeah im on acid as well.
LaughinStock 16
Yeah totally 3 and at the end of Op's injuries that Wah Wah Wah Wahhhhh theme song plays.
ninjawatcher 2
This sounds like something that would only happen in a bad comedy movie. Also, sorry about your mom OP. It's never easy having a family member in the hospital.
NiiTeH 7
Along with himself.
22cute 17
I'm sure your Mum is proud now.
FMLshark 12
The moment I read "jumped over the steel cables...", I knew some kind of horror was bound to happen.
carcar54 1
And the fact that the app is called FML
cliffibom 15
I had the same feeling after the "Today," part
Keattles 14
What trolls haha
soccerguy2 11
I knew when I read "I tried to beat my dad to the car."
Keattles 14
Being at the hospital already is a positive way to look at it, but FYL for having to go back in :(
music_woman1 11
Way to worry your sick mother.. Well, at least you were at the hospital! I hope you weren't hurt too badly
AudioBoss 12
No, wasn't that bad. I got a swollen ankle, scratched arm, black eye, sore back/pelvis, and head trauma(Should NOT have gone to sleep last night, whoops). I laughed my ass off on the way home, and so did my dad. The steel cables bent like a foot and a half or so I'm told, I passed out, so all I remember is the sound of my head hitting the pipe and waking up on the floor.
GDIalex 11
Поспешишь - людей насмешишь!
SkoomaKi 28
Правда, но это была гонка.
SkoomaKi 28
Hey I had to take the trek to make it. Google translate screws translations if there are too many words, so I kept it short and sweet ^.^
videokid2000 10
What did that even say???
SkoomaKi 28
#30 - Haste makes waste.
luvscomplic8ed 6
I'm being the lazy one here and NOT going to google translate like the rest of ya haha
I_Punch_Babies 7
hardcore parkour claims yet another victim...
hallkchallkc 4
Darwinism.