Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because my mom's lazy eye creeps him out, and that my dad hates him. She doesn't have a lazy eye, he's never met my dad, never seen my mom, and now according to his friends, he's been cheating on me for the past two weeks. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I slightly hesitated when she asked if she was beautiful. I am blind. FML
Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML
Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went back to Germany. He lovingly said to me, "I will never find another girl like you. Unless I rip off her leg and tear out her eye." I’m an amputee, and was born with a blind eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said I look too ugly when I cry to do it seriously in person. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. I started to tear up and told her I had something stuck in my eye. I was secretly thrilled as I had been trying to end it for weeks. Seeing me cry, she immediately took it back. I really just had something stuck in my eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling in bed. After looking at me for a while he said, "you look better when I'm not wearing my contacts". FML
Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because I was "letting myself go". When I told the little girl I babysit in the afternoons why I was so upset, she looked at me for a moment before saying, "Well, I definitely can't blame him." FML
Today, I saw my long-distance boyfriend for the first time in 8 months. He dumped me on the spot because I was "uglier" than he remembered. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FYLDeep 26
That's a great line. It's too bad he didn't save it for when he had a good opportunity to use it. Something like: "Where's my keys?" "Right there in front of you on the table." "Oh I can't believe I missed that." "I guess we just aren't looking at things in the same way."
Jazzo 1
o there's a joker in the house
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
Jazzo 1
o there's a joker in the house
dre_bro11 12
why are you complaining? if he's that much of an ass why would you stay?
IronZombie 0
her lazy eyed ass doesn't have a very good outlook when it comes to attracting guys lol
MrCatman1125 2
He sounds funny, that's why she liked him, assumably
violetsweety 26
Haha.
fugachumi 0
That's ******* hilarious
rottentomatoes 7
No, he's a douchebag.
sierracn97 5
well at least he accepts you for who you are
percawesome 0
Hope you're kidding
mariluvs 0
jaja^^
FYLDeep 26
That's a great line. It's too bad he didn't save it for when he had a good opportunity to use it. Something like: "Where's my keys?" "Right there in front of you on the table." "Oh I can't believe I missed that." "I guess we just aren't looking at things in the same way."
theten_fml 9
how long did it take you to think of that?
FYLDeep 26
Not that long.
percawesome 0
6 what answer do you expect? "Aw yeah ya got me, I stewed on that for a good half hour"? Lol
FYLDeep 26
You know what nevermind. He probably was holding onto that line. I bet since he was breaking up he must have been like, "**** it, I got one chance left to say this."
sheehan35 2
lol 35
takeapieandrun 9
Stop posting random shit. The FML before this one was about your boyfriend too, except you didn't break up.
missrit 0
lol #8, it's not the same person posting it! It's selected by the Skins Cast members today!
takeapieandrun 9
Yes! I got moderated! Thanks for clearing that up btw.
stevenmx86 8
6, not trying to start anything but that would have been a waste of the line too as that is also not funny...
FYLDeep 26
Wasn't going for something that funny. I was more trying to illustrate that he could have used that line as a response to something she said. It didn't make much sense just to day it in passing.
Deaded1 12
shame hey, you where not seeing eye to eye.
ChromeCaviar 0
I love people.
Andrew_Nelson 4
That comment just gave me cancer...
maybaybe 0
That's horrible! Be glad he's gone.
jobint_fml 0
that blows.. good riddance I guess..
surferchick96 0
hes an ass. ull beh fine!
UpsidedownKayak 9
My eyes have gone cross reading that!
Bill3485 3
ull beh sahrry fer saiyan dat tu hurr. oh god that is challenging to do.
rinSa_fml 0
this "girl" (SkinsCastSelection) just translate stories from the french version of FML.