Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I'd be a suave gentleman by opening the car door for my date. The handle came off in my hand, and I had to spend the next 15 minutes pretending I was doing an impromptu repair on my piece of shit car, when I had no idea what I was doing. FML
Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML
Today, I spent ages getting dressed up for a date I’ve been excited for. I even put on cologne for the first time in forever. When I arrived at the restaurant, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. I spent the entire meal pretending to be “really into the conversation” while internally panicking about how I was going to pay. It didn't end well. FML
Today, I went on the first date I've been on in years. While walking into the movie theatre, one of my shoes broke. Then I remembered that I needed to grab my mask. While walking back to the car, my other shoe broke. After the movie, I tripped on my broken shoes, and brought him down with me. FML
Today, I tried to impress my date by confidently parallel parking on a busy street. I hit the curb twice, stalled the car, and somehow set off my alarm. Then I locked the keys inside while it screamed. We stood there in silence while people watched. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. Wanting to make a good impression, I spend a lot of time getting ready and by the time I get to the place we were supposed to meet she isn't there anymore. I call her to see where she is. She's in bed with another guy and says "I was REALLY waiting for you". FML
Today, I went in my car to a very important job interview. I was out of gas, so I had to get some on the way. When i was done pumping, I went to get back in and the door handle broke off on the driver's side. Then I blew a tire on a piece of metal. Needless to say, I lost my chance. FML
Today, I got into a fender bender on my way to an important meeting. The damage to my car was minimal, but I was so flustered that I ended up getting lost and arrived late to the meeting. To make matters worse, I'd forgotten my notes in the car and had to wing it. Needless to say, the meeting didn't go well. FML
Today, I got stood up on a date. To add insult to injury, meeting up was her idea. FML
Today, I was at my new store, fixing it up. I was about to leave, so I took my clothes off to let the dirty ones dry, as I had other clothes in my car. I walked to the back of my store and the back door locked. The car was locked. I was in my boxers with no phone and no way to go home for 3 hours. FML
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Top comments
Nutty4Muffs 3
The word "scuttled" made the FML.
CaramelMacchiato 13
Watch out guys. We've got a badass over here.
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Comments (88)
soccerguy2 11
the guy is probably a dick anyway
Zomg_Okay 27
Very observant of you. Actually, I was under the impression that not being able to make a date and not bothering to inform your date of this was the mark of a gentleman.
JiggaJayZ 16
4- you're probably a dick too
Zomg_Okay 27
Oh, most definitely. I never claimed I wasn't, after all.
porcupineattack1 5
No shit, dumbass.
Zimmington 21
sounds to me like life gave you two chances to not go either...
starman02 12
Agreed #31! I was just going to type that but ya beat me to it!
nado13579 12
1- Probably!?
NokeyPlc 1
Also, it never says she was going on a date with a guy, it could've been another girl.
thatgurltori 6
awh that sucks... you obviously deserve better
NuTrees 9
Let's look at it this way... You didn't waste time getting dressed and got an amazing calf burn walkin downtown. Once you reached your resturant you were graced by your own pressence. That night you slept a nice heavy sleep. Badabum
samanthajonesdru 1
Hate when that happens, which is never. Sucks for you.
CaramelMacchiato 13
Watch out guys. We've got a badass over here.
ghostlilac 25
3 - I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often, you seem rude. :/
THE_A_TEEN 28
Lucky you! Do you feel so proud that you never get stood while OP does? Way to bring people down.
hornetsbaseball 6
Wow I hate when I realize I have no friends like you. Oh wait that's never! Way to be a nice guy
jquiggy89 3
Way to be a raging self absorbed ****...
GhettoMuzick 0
Asshole.
AnthonyN 5
42 - Nice guys finish last though...
beastroish 0
Hahahahaha that's funny and true
whattod0 3
Or you could've called and told him when you were on your way...would've saved you time + energy.
whattod0 3
And that would clear everything. Then & there. Before she had to go through all this
Nutty4Muffs 3
The word "scuttled" made the FML.
KBeatz 5
Yes, some nice imagery huh. Helps you empathize lol
ProjectComanche 2
I just picture her rushing down the sidewalk crouched down, hands in the air, and scooting sideways like Dr. Zoidberg.
Krysk_fml 0
(V) (;,,;) (V) Why not Zoidberg?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Whoop whoop whoop!
mrphychrs 5
what an adventure
idoam 8
Eh, you'd probably have made a bad impression anyway, being sweaty from the scuttling, and in dirty clothes no less.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Way to be optimistic.
idoam 8
I fail to see what wasn't optimistic about my comment.
Yaen 18
What makes you think OP was dirty? Not all of us are prissy princesses who can't walk a mile without getting dirty.
idoam 8
I didn't say she was dirty. I said she was wearing dirty clothes, due to the fact that she couldn't change.
elmousey 5
29, that makes no sense. Wouldn't a prissy princess be less likely to get dirty walking a mile? A prissy princess wouldn't be crawling there, playing in the mud and such.
Draconium 8
You probably just had a week's worth of bad luck in one day, OP. Think of it this way. Karma will ensure tomorrow will be much better. Be sure to do something unpleasant to that horrible guy who stood you up.
Yaen 18
Karma = superstition
deviable 9
32 - who cares?
cr3ativity 15
Man, you had a bad day, I feel sorry for you :( But hey, sounds like it was better than my day.
LSS_fml 18
There's an app for that.
cr3ativity 15
/Oh really?/
thiscrazything 1
Yeah, it's called the crappy day app. It's automatically installed in your phone. When you're already having a bad day, it locks up your phone, and that helps make all the other problems of your day seem insignificant.
gigi1981 13
That is a day that just sucked arse! I hate days like that; at least you should have used up all your bad juju and be ready for some good stuff!