Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Leave us alone
Today, my husband and mother started supplementing my newborn son with formula, because they are such control freaks and don't like my son getting attached to me. He was doing very well while exclusively breastfed according to the doctor. But it looks like my happiness or my son's well-being is of zero importance. FML
Bittie
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Today, I leaned down to pick up my infant son from his highchair. He reached up and grabbed the first thing available to him: my nipple. I got purple-nurpled by my baby. FML
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
Mind your own *******
Today, my mother-in-law said, "I just find I'm not at all confident bottle feeding a baby, as I breastfed all of mine." Thank you for making me feel like s*** for me decision to bottle feed. FML
Mommy milkers
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Baby fever
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Gratitude walks
Today, my 11 month-old son stopped saying mom and started saying dad. He already looks exactly like him. I can't help but feel jealous. FML
Today, while breast feeding my 7 month-old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML
Today, breastfeeding my infant has become so automatic that when my dog nuzzled up against me while I was sleeping, I lifted up my shirt and unhooked my nursing bra. FML
Top comments
that1guy1 13
Hey, it's a step in the right direction!
Mennooboer 12
Manboobs ftw. =D
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Comments (182)
theressarina 2
Aww, that's not an FML, that's cute. So he missed, no big deal. Redirect him to mommy so he can have the proper nutrition and bonding with mommy.
EmAnRap 2
You need to start working out haha
lolmigosh 15
Hahahahahahaha you need to work out!
nnelg74 4
Been there. Happened with both my kids. I am a small build and mum is DD. think they would know where the good stuff is?
IronMaiden45 0
father son bonding
capini 0
My daughter did this to my husband. Never know OP could have been changing his shirt and his son was there. That's how it happened to my hubby. Daughter never went back to him. Like everyone else has been saying: take this as a good sign and give him to your wife!!!
kristena103 14
Omg lol! Like family guy! Except the other way around lol
kristena103 14
Hmmm.. Look Peter Griffin what was your nipple doing in the baby's mouth? Was your shirt off? Or u are Peter griffin?
Epic_Times 10
Reminds me of that Family Guy episode where Stewie did the same to Peter.
Snavvie 0
After reading this, Peter Griffin from Family Guy came to mind.