Today, while breast feeding my 7 month-old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sang a sweet lullaby to my two year-old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML
Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Today, my 9 month-old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML
Today, I woke up at 4 a.m., my back sore from being twisted like a pretzel due to my toddler. I successfully moved him, then my sick baby woke up, tried to nurse, screamed because he couldn’t breathe through his nose, screamed because I suctioned his nose, tried to nurse a blanket, then screamed when I offered him an actual boob. FML
Today, I leaned down to pick up my infant son from his highchair. He reached up and grabbed the first thing available to him: my nipple. I got purple-nurpled by my baby. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
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Top comments
Pingvinai 37
Weaponize your voice against your enemies.
howard007 18
I think the baby is suggesting singing classes
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Comments (57)
Pingvinai 37
Weaponize your voice against your enemies.
Enslaved 38
"Muad'Dib" "Father!.... father, the sleeper has awakened!"
surranger 19
Not his favorite anymore
BBeffedmylife 28
Just wait until he starts talking.. I was singing to my 2 year old the other day and she straight up said "No, stop it!"
MrsDruidess 23
actually I bet it was the milk thay wasn't his favorite anymore. Judging by the timing (7 months) her period might be back and that changes the taste. It is really common to have feeding issues like pulling off at that age. Mine did it at 4 months and 5 months, it passes but really sucks for momma.
howard007 18
I think the baby is suggesting singing classes
Nickb55 16
It's okay. Babies are so stupid they can't even do math.
MrSassypants 34
They figure out complex equations that scientists today can't figure out. They can't talk though so we will never know what those equations are.
Jmgonzo 10
Why so many down votes? People here need to learn to take a joke.
photographer49 22
#20 We got that it was a joke, it just wasn't funny.
squarecircles 13
Well I thought is was funny though I admit my humour ain't for everyone ;P
cjhons 16
Sad, but too funny!
rhysfucker 24
"Do you want to drink some breast milk? It doesn't have to be breast milk."
lexa1love 16
Mom really needs to learn to let it go...
netflixislove 32
Baby's are very rude
jojimugo 20
And lazy too, all they do is sleep
rhysfucker 24
Babies.
squarecircles 13
Yeah. No manners.
cadillacgal79 32
And they mooch off of you for food....little bastards.....
sturschaedel 27
He is probably entering the phase where he is easily distracted from nursing. He will most likely need quiet feeding time for a while.
BlondePsycho 43
I guess hes not a fan of live music with dinner
wvcheesehead 13
In the words of Shemp Howard, to help your voice you should gargle with old razor blades. Actually your voice is probably fine, it was probably a change the baby did not want.