Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my daughter turned up at my house because her boyfriend kicked her out. I rang him and it turns out his love and affection and even the time he spent getting to know her kids wasn’t enough for her, my daughter just had to throw it all away by sucking her coworker's dick in her boyfriend's bed. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
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Top comments
Krirn 21
Isn't that punishment enough?
ilikebikes7 3
Poor Thomas.
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Comments (321)
MaydayParadexx 18
Coming from a 15 year old girl, scolding her and punishing her won't do a thing. Sit down and talk to her about it, and be as honest as possible. If you attack her and tell her no, she'll just do it again to spite you. Trust me on this. Yes she should be punished, but that shouldn't be the only thing that happens, because then she won't learn a lesson.
crazyrn 6
Not true. I have a 14 year old son, and you better believe I know where he's at all times! He would never be allowed out of my sight long enough to get drunk, let alone bang some girl. It's called parenting; more people should try it.
spaboolly 26
89 - There is such a thing as being too protective of your child. I obviously don't know enough about you to say you've crossed that line, but that comment does make it seem that way. The parent here can tell her daughter how wrong her decision was all she wants, but only maturity will truly bring understanding. For now, the most important thing is assuring that it does not happen again, no matter what it takes to do so. Finding that boy's parents and making sure they do the same would also be a priority.
zonkeymaker 14
Good shit, not bad for a 15 year old, I'm sixteen, and of course you have to talk to them and get on the same page and understand, but consequences are required also, they have to know that doing these kinds of things have severe punishment but you also need to understand them, I'm not saying understand what she did, but understand their personality and way of thinking to further prevent this and possibly become closer
amara92_fml 10
She's too young to be doing anything like that :/... great parenting
KM96 24
Far out!! When she's sober, she'll probably freak out that she told you :D But obviously there is gonna have to be a serious conversation concerning punishment ... Good luck on that
caysters 12
And this is what happens in a society where someone will call CPS for spanking the ass of a child who needs it, causing parents to do nothing.
iwbhevrything 4
Well had she had the proper parenting before hand, the parents wouldn't be in this situation.
brbpeople 4
Wow drunk and having sex at the age of 14 looks like you ****** up
ceegee415 5
Sounds like you've got a ***** in training. Way to go mom!
schnitzel123 11
Damn that's horrible lol
Camri_123 11
Tell her to get her butt to bed and be ready for a rude awakening in the morning, and the following mornings after that with chores and such. Get a hold of this parenting thing quick. You don't have much time!
livewire1701 8
Time to seriously discipline the little **** puppy. I hope you weren't one of those parents who let her dress like a little prosti-tot when she was little because if you did good luck trying to fix her. If so get ready to be a grandparent.
Iwasthere1039 2
Bad parenting skills, bro