Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my daughter turned up at my house because her boyfriend kicked her out. I rang him and it turns out his love and affection and even the time he spent getting to know her kids wasn’t enough for her, my daughter just had to throw it all away by sucking her coworker's dick in her boyfriend's bed. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Krirn 21
Isn't that punishment enough?
ilikebikes7 3
Poor Thomas.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (321)
fishstick557 14
Your daughter is a ******* *****
geocayce 7
The child seems to be entering her rebellious stage. This is not always a result of bad parenting. This could be a result of good parenting & setting boundaries that the 14 year old didn't like. The true test of parenting will be in whatever punishment that's given to OP's child.
Kkkdawg 27
Thank you!! I have great parents who were always responsible, teaching me lessons and values, and looking out for me. I had a great childhood too. However I still snuck out and partied. I drank and had sex at 14. I did stupid shit. Peer pressure is a huge factor at that age. It had nothing to do with bad parenting. I knew the consequences and was old enough to deal with them. It was also a (stupid) rebellious stage that i grew out of. I am NOT defending the child here, but the "bad parent". You can be the best parent in the world, but kids still do their own thing. All that said, I agree she should be punished. FYL because you had to find out like that though.
TheEmoSuperman 16
is this directly related to the method of parenting? some say faking is caused by what's in the jeans (;
Sweetpea22 14
Wow, if your daughter isn't on BC I suggest you put her on it if she is having sex this early
onorexveritas 24
OMG! put it on FB!
Camri_123 11
And why would she do that?
jamesrod885 6
wow....how does stuff happen
taka805 10
As parents we have to remember that our kids are a extension of us. The things they do and the way they act are a direct effect of their upbringing. We have a Responsibility to be parents before friends to our children. Sometimes you need to be stern.
mufasa1026 6
Well what the **** did she expect from a 14 year old boy?! Has she screwed a guy who was older???
Camri_123 11
That's a terrifying thought, but that's the way it sounds.
spaboolly 26
I was going to make a light hearted joke about the boy needing to go through puberty before he can have a decent sized penis, but that really is a very disturbing thought that you brought up.
chveya 6
Can we all please say that people (even young people) who have sex don't respect themselves? Sure, drunk sex with a barely-a-teenager is a recipe for disaster, but I don't think this girl is morally bankrupt or self-loathing.
imbored666 5
Soo i guess OP has to worry about the daughter's partying and her sex life since she knows what size a dick is considered small