Today, I had to pick my 2 year-old nephew up from day care for the first time. When the lady asked me who I was there to pick up, I realized I didn't know his actual name because we all call him "Bebe." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was picking up my nephew from school. I waved when I saw him coming, shouted, “Hey dude!” The kid stared at me, confused. That’s when I realized it wasn’t my nephew, just a child who looked vaguely similar but who was now terrified. His actual mom gave me a look like she was deciding whether to call security. FML
Today, I went to pick up my niece from daycare. As I walked past the gates, a little kid yelled, “Daddy’s here!” and ran to hug me. His actual dad was right behind me, clearly very confused, while the daycare workers glared at me like they were about to call the cops on me. FML
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, I picked up my daughter from daycare. As we were getting into the car, I strapped her into the car seat, but something felt off. I looked back and realized I had picked up the wrong kid. In my defense, she was wearing the same jacket as my daughter. FML
Today, I was fired from my babysitting job because the baby’s first word was my name. Well, I’m sorry, but if you ask me to look after your child 14 hours a day, 6 days a week, and by the time you pick them up they’re already asleep, of course they’re going to know my name better than yours. FML
Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, I found out that my 6-year-old son was named after my wife's "Favorite Uncle" because he might also be the father. FML
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Top comments
spinspinsugar 12
dude, my nephew isn't even mine by blood and I know his first, middle, and last name. ydi
RichardPencil 32
Stranger danger!
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Comments (5)
spinspinsugar 12
dude, my nephew isn't even mine by blood and I know his first, middle, and last name. ydi
bl3ur0z3 17
That's what we call my 5yo nephew too, but I can tell you his first, middle, last, and suffix.
distortedcognition 17
No worries, I only know my niece and nephew’s first and last name. Couldn’t tell you their birthday or how old they are if you held a gun to my head
bl3ur0z3 17
So if you were asked who you're there to pick up, you would know the answer.
RichardPencil 32
Stranger danger!