Today, my idiot son incinerated his shoes in the oven. They were wet and he wanted to "quick-dry" them, so now the whole house smells terrible. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML
Today, my son decided he wanted roasted marshmallows. It would've been fine, except he put the entire bag into the oven I had preheating for pizza and caught it on fire. FML
Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML
Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML
Today, I put my good shoes out the window and on the roof to dry out because they were sopping wet. When I went to check them later on, they were still wet. And soaked in bird poop. FML
Today, my not-quite-potty-trained toddler niece had a 'wee accident' in my bed. I used towels to mop it up and changed the sheets. Later, I had the bright idea to dry it faster by turning the electric blanket on high. Now my room smells like burned urine. FML
Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML
Today, I've been potty training my son and almost all of his clothes have been peed on, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to do all the laundry together. When I was getting it out of the dryer, everything smelled like pee. FML
Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
Lmao I don’t remember that one but that is hilarious. Like I’m trying to navigate the daughter’s thought process and circumstances but I can’t 😂😂 And yeah I’m wondering OP’s son’s age too. Little kid or idiot teenager? I’m banking on idiot teenager lol
Plop 17
Well, the logical next step is to incinerate your son in the oven. That'll teach him!
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Comments (4)
mike3775 39
So you didn’t teach him while younger to place wet shoes over a vent in his bedroom? Or leave them outside in the sun? That’s on you if that’s the case.
kfchicken 31
it's really not on op at all. the oven could have actually worked it he didn't make it hot enough to literally combust fabric
cuz803 46
Serious question: how old is your son? This reminds me of the FML where a parent complained of their daughter flushing a hamburger.
Marcella1016 32
Lmao I don’t remember that one but that is hilarious. Like I’m trying to navigate the daughter’s thought process and circumstances but I can’t 😂😂 And yeah I’m wondering OP’s son’s age too. Little kid or idiot teenager? I’m banking on idiot teenager lol
QweenJen 0
Too funny lol
Plop 17
Well, the logical next step is to incinerate your son in the oven. That'll teach him!