Today, me and my girls went to get revenge on a girl who slept with my boyfriend by egging her house. Her house was too far away so we decided to get her truck. We wasted a carton of eggs on her driveway because we all have terrible aim and look incredibly stupid for missing so bad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Today, I egged my cheating ex’s car. Actually, I should clarify; I egged my cheating ex’s sister’s car, thinking it was his. She gave me a black eye and knocked out two of my teeth while my ex laughed his ass off. FML
Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
Today, my house was pelted with rotten eggs. Apparently, my daughter and her friends are bullying a boy in her class. So, his older brother set out for revenge. According to the threatening note he left, "This is just the start if they don't leave him alone." My daughter thinks this means she should bully harder. FML
Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML
Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML
Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML
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Top comments
flinkpamingo 0
First, you shouldn't be mad at her. HE is the one who dogged you. Secondly, grow up, get a life and realize that anyone who makes you that angry and treats you like that isn't worth the power it takes to squish a bug. What a waste. Go find someone who acctually loves you and wants to be with you. Come on, suck it up and move on, and have a nice day. You deserve better.
Lolbrittany 0
should've egged HIS house/vehicle.
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Comments (147)
crisle12358 0
most of the time "the other woman" doesnt even know the guy has a gf either. and yeah hes the one that cheated on you why would you get back at the girl!?
murderofcrows 0
If you suck, your car gets f+cked up. Don't suck, you'll have a great day with your car intact. Pretty simple. Some of us think its hilarious to speed up "karma".
oh_dear34 0
Amen. OP, your boyfriend should be held responsible for the cheating. Maybe she didn't know about you. Even if she did, the person who was in a committed relationship with you is to blame.
pink_pimptress 0
i really hope you mean, your 'then' boyfriend
Marodi 0
Wtf, shouldnt you be taking it out on your boyfriend? Egging? Seriously grow up. YDI
thescrutonator 0
You should be pissed at your boyfriend, he's the one who betrayed you.
nodbor 11
he found a girl with a better grip
laffinatu 0
YDI for being lame and immature and mad at the wrong person AND for doing something illegal like vandalism (yes, egging is vandalism). Learn how to handle your problems like an adult. You and your "girls" have some serious growing up to do. I hope karma finds your horrible boyfriend as well as you and your criminal friends.
Kupokupupo 0
lol. i would've liked to see that. just a couple of girls ditching eggs at the ground. XD hahaha...
girlwhoactshigh 0
You should have keyed her car and slash her tires im not saying "I" did it for many good reasons but its affective ^^
kile88 2
ok sad that you have to call them "your girls" grow up are you trying to be gangsta? fk.