Today, me and my girls went to get revenge on a girl who slept with my boyfriend by egging her house. Her house was too far away so we decided to get her truck. We wasted a carton of eggs on her driveway because we all have terrible aim and look incredibly stupid for missing so bad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Today, I egged my cheating ex’s car. Actually, I should clarify; I egged my cheating ex’s sister’s car, thinking it was his. She gave me a black eye and knocked out two of my teeth while my ex laughed his ass off. FML
Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
Today, my house was pelted with rotten eggs. Apparently, my daughter and her friends are bullying a boy in her class. So, his older brother set out for revenge. According to the threatening note he left, "This is just the start if they don't leave him alone." My daughter thinks this means she should bully harder. FML
Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML
Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML
Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML
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Top comments
flinkpamingo 0
First, you shouldn't be mad at her. HE is the one who dogged you. Secondly, grow up, get a life and realize that anyone who makes you that angry and treats you like that isn't worth the power it takes to squish a bug. What a waste. Go find someone who acctually loves you and wants to be with you. Come on, suck it up and move on, and have a nice day. You deserve better.
Lolbrittany 0
should've egged HIS house/vehicle.
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Comments (147)
Lenicka 0
And now you are feeling better ? Grow up!
MegaPerson87 0
I would just waited till night and did it up close
Cnote231 0
To any of you that say women are stupid and incapable of doing anything just to let you know I shot better than 2 U.S Marines at the age of 13 with my uncles sniper rifle. Now then go shut the **** up because I know that half of you couldn't do that or have even touched a damn gun in your ******* life.
Cjmw 7
It takes two. She might not have known you two were together. HE however probably deserved to be egged.
ecascio2010 9
you suck. why do women always think it's the girls fault when it's also the guys fault as well... you better have dumped his sorry ass.
romkuglen 1
How about egging your boyfriend instead? and Wow your aim sucks!
delicatedarkness 0
****, seriously? grow up. I hope you're not still dating the dude but from the sounds of your immature post, you probably are.
jayjayroxs 0
you cant say the bitch didnt know. Either way, I would beat his ass and hers too. But i woulds walked straight up to the door rung the doorbell and smashed it in her face. But i guess to society we all have to be perfect little girls and deal with it...ha! Your funny. Id **** the bitch up. :)
mrsflinstone 0
this whole fml failed when you started out by saying "me and my girls"
DeathBunny218 37
XD i thought exactly the same thing. Clicked YDI as soon as i read it.
xxunicornxc 0
you just kind of made yourself look stupid, sad, and desperate. your boyfriends going to be even happier that he dumped you and the girl will think that your crazy. how is this an fml anyway?