Today, like every other day my boyfriend and I try and have sex, his dog cried and whined outside of his room until we stopped. She does this all the time and it kills the mood instantly. I can't have sex because of a toy poodle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML
Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML
Today, I found out that sometimes when my girlfriend is mad at me she will allow our unfixed male dog to jack off on my pillows when I'm at work. She won the battle and the war. FML
Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML
Today, and like every day before it, my boyfriend’s snoring is keeping me up all night. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
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Top comments
19jburner 15
Boop the snoot.
BloodyBrilliant 15
Buy a male dog. She needs her dude too.
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Comments (67)
soulreaper12296 28
Maybe she's jealous that she isn't getting any action.
mlove1983 7
Why not just ignore the dog??
Frid_Kun 7
Its almost like universe is trying to tell you that dogs are unnecessary and you should get rid of this useless mutt. Take a hint.
ladycoco8 20
Shut your ***** mouth. Dogs are everything.
mfmylifesrsly 30
What the **** are you talking about? Dogs are amazing! And that's coming from a cat lady
sutima 23
Cats rule... Dogs are just annoying.
crudeandrudeguy 29
22- I disagree with the comment too but I think you took it a little far. Lol. 31- Have you never seen homeward bound? It's cats rule and dogs drool. Sassy says so.
Sora_McKain 36
56 a I love that movie.
Frammy007 7
My toy Aussie shepherd used to do that to me and my fiancé all the time. Either give her a puzzle toy with peanut butter inside and a few small treats tucked away, or an ice-cube, depending on how long you want to be ;)
Mightytall 35
Toy poodle ... Either your boyfriend is a prince or a fairy ... So unless his name is something like "von Someortheother" I think he may be the latter. He might still be in the finding phase for his sexual orientation.
Sia_Will 13
Wait till you have a baby...
derperbear 8
Most annoying answer ever. Not everyone wants kids. It also does not make this situation any less annoying.
Sia_Will 13
Oh I'm sorry. Hope your day is not ruined by my very annoying comment.
sutima 23
Why the **** would she?
Sia_Will 13
Dude, calm down. Nobody's making her or you or anybody else have a baby. I'm telling her that something similar to that is going to happen if she has a baby. No need to freak out.
Tehlu 12
Ditch the bitch or at leaSt take it to someone else's house so you can get freaky.
monkeytater96 23
Your boyfriend has a prissy toy poodle? Get you a big male German Shepard or something.
hellobobismyname 24
The type of dog you own doesn't determine your masculinity or femininity.
Rababco 29
Some dogs are super attached to their owners and want to be with them all the time. She probably just doesn't like to be seperated from your boyfriend.
sailorarctic 22
just leave the door open or lock the pup in a room with a baby gate and turn a tv on so she doesn't feel lonely.