Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML
Today, I received a lovely letter from the council telling me I have to cease the act of "breeding and selling cats" because someone from my Facebook reported me. I'm pretty sure I've never owned a cat or had one in my house. FML
Today, my door broke. My normally reclusive, antisocial cat, who runs and hides at the slightest noise, decided to come out and get friendly with the maintenance man. Now I owe a huge fee and my rent is increasing for having a pet I’m not supposed to have. FML
Today, when I stepped outside, I found out my neighbors forgot to leash their mean-ass dog when he promptly started charging at me. If not for the black cat who lives outside my house, who I've fed before, jumping in and somehow single-handedly whooping his ass, I'd probably be dead. You don't fuck with stray cats. FML
Today, my neighbor let me know that they've been taking care of my cats while I was away, including letting them in and out of my house. I don't own a cat. FML
Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML
Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML
Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML
Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
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Top comments
Xx_Nikky_xX 4
i tought i taw a putty tat
perdix 31
Of course not, the cat owns you.
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Comments (86)
Xx_Nikky_xX 4
i tought i taw a putty tat
Skroal_stomper 5
Damn Garfield. He is at it again.
ranger186 1
16 *facepalm* its Sylvester
therealdavid 0
-Facepalm- 49. 16 Was referring to the FML, not 1. Stupid Justin Beiber!
iLoveFamilyGuy 7
#1 is a winner. Nice comment and it wasn't "first!"
sourgirl101 29
Do you own a small dog that chases yarn?
leadrunner751 3
haha (:
ChrisLTC 3
can't control your pussy?
MissBunny25 0
ahahaha that was actually a good one
princess711 0
lol I was gonna say that XD
luke1998 0
.miss bunny ur really hott
EpicPear 0
12 year old? really? /facepalm
noradaron 0
haha good luck. maybe you can pick out some hawt gurls at the playground.
aussie_gemini 5
get a dog... ur cat problem will be over!
Lizza330 28
My kitties scare the neighborhood dogs.
WallyTheWombat 0
OP should dress up as a cat and attack the postman.
aussie_gemini 5
no cats scare my boxers! -stupid cats lol #39 best idea ever!
Blaze177 0
I would buy some camo clothing, get an AK-47, hide in a bush, wait for the cat to come then FIRE AT WILL! (No, not Will Smith.)
aussie_gemini 5
#54 that's not psycho at all!!!
Wuuper 0
That's their lame excuse :/
AlienX_fml 0
Set a bear trap up with some kitteh food. Problem solved.
Gondile 4
That's a good idea!
MissBunny25 0
here's a thought, tell the postman or the mail company that cat isn't yours.. omg now there's an idea for ya :o
zjrsi 0
mind bottling
SirEBC 7
Mind bottling? Are you serious?
MissBunny25 0
WTF? haha
hatepineapple 14
Dumb mast.
CommonSenseKarma 17
Moor on. Dammit, you people took the good ones.
Thabb 0
I was drinking a bottle of cherry-flavored mind just as I read that
MissBunny25 0
I'm confused :(
meowmeowwkitty 0
Kay. You are dumb lmao.
MissBunny25 0
I'm not dumb... im flighty... big difference xD lmao
seahorses4eva 4
Did you uh, tell them that?
perdix 31
Of course not, the cat owns you.
davek 36
In Soviet Russia?
sup3rmann 0
mabey u do and just dont kno it!