Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML
Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML
Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked, "Who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door, "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML
Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML
Today, my roommate told me there is some restricted number that keeps calling and waking her up at odd hours of the night. She then says she's getting the police involved to find out who it is because she feels "harassed". I'm the restricted caller calling to wake her up from snoring so loud. FML
Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML
Today, I discovered a tracking app enabled on my phone so I switched it off to save battery space. Within 20 minutes my mother rang and demanded to know where I was, what I was doing, if I was with some woman… you get the picture. I'm 32 and own my own apartment. FML
Today, while at work, I had to spend an hour and a half on the phone, listening to an old lady relive her entire day in excruciating detail. We're not allowed to hang up on customers, and she was extremely quick to dismiss all my attempts to steer the call back on topic. FML
Today, I got a stern talking-to from the police about threatening and harassing people. Who had called them? None other than my stalker, whom I'd just informed about the restraining order I was filing against him after finding him in my house. For the second time. FML
Today, I wanted to call my mom to ask for advice but called my boss instead. I panicked and ended up talking about weekend plans like nothing was wrong. She now knows way too much about my personal life. FML
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Top comments
babyyninjas 1
he knows what you did last summer !
ohhhsnapple 14
Have you checked the children? O_o
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Comments (320)
BeastNerd 3
1-800-CHOKETHATHO(;
babyyninjas 1
he knows what you did last summer !
mystifisvt 4
I know what you're doing right this very second.
babyyninjas 1
MOTHER OF GOD........
ovechkinisbeast 9
Well then stop doing the dishes, eating breakfast and taking showers and do something about it!
Wheredidgrungego 12
Anyone think of Eagle Eye when they read this?
GameOver008 1
Maybe it's a prank.
Awesome_Guy2468 0
No the other thing you did last summer! Like what he said in scary movie 2
ColdplaySucks 18
Get a handgun
xalerion 0
It doesnt count if what hes describing is you on the phone.... Ops these days....
speshlk37 13
Do you like scary movies...?
ArcadePie 10
He's probably in your house... Be afraid
LaughinStock 16
I like how op added that the creeper knew they were talking to each other...who else would op be talking to on the phone?
Naitsi 19
rolf
daitan 3
#144 No dumbass, OP said the caller knew what she was doing every second WHILE they were on the phone together. Learn to read properly.
ifyouwereasheep 0
You deserve it for being a woman.
ImFrackinBored 13
Flip off the phone. :3
Eaglestrike117 29
You SHOULD leave your house, as he can obviously see you. Grab your keys and run quickly to your car, after calling the police and explaining the situation. They may tell you to stay where you are, but it's ultimately up to you. He may have hidden cameras set up in your house.
ohmylanta22 5
Did anyone but me even notice that this was a movie reference?
MrShizzBear 0
I quite enjoy the fact that were all telling Op to call the police. It's like we believe this is real l time haha :)
taera 8
This FML is overused. Be original and don't take movie scenes and post them here. This website is serious business.
ChronicBluntz420 7
What's your favorite scary movie?
sleepindevil 15
It's definitely a Russian spy satellite! They got bored.
LN666 2
Haha good one ????
ThaBeasty01 5
whats your favorite scary movie ?
dancersinger124 7
Is it?
dancersinger124 7
Is it?
FunwithBumperCar 0
I know what you are doing. You are breathing, you are reading this very post you are looking at the fml website. Ohhh creepy
ohhhsnapple 14
Have you checked the children? O_o
neonblue120 6
50 - From the past of the future...ooOOooo00oo
TurdTickler9 2
Or is the past a mere reflection of our future
J3R3MYY 14
Dont make me think like that again..
Fudgeblocks 2
This is what I was thinking too...
AMB3AST 7
"The caller is coming from inside the house."
that1guyyy 12
When a stranger calls? I love that movie!
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
My mind has been blown twice O.o
Rizbits 4
Call the cops... Dont post on fml
doughertyz 1
Get YO ass off of here. 911 that ho
hawaiianfire 0
No no no, now thats not a proper top 5 comment for FML users. You have to somehow relate your life to these FML's so that you can share your personal life over the Internet. It's kind of like self therapy. Here's some examples. Example number 1- omg I had this happen to me too, but it turned out to be my boyfriend playing a trick on me! I was so scared though! Example number 2- Stalkers are scary, this one time I was walking home from school and this guy kept following me. My friend told me I should call the police to catch the guy. They never did though! You get the point. Now delete your comment because it is pointless. OP is ok, well at least ok enough to think about FML in her time of crisis. Plus even if people agree with your conclusion, do you think you can leave space for truly interesting comments?
neonblue120 6
49 - He's number six. Evrerything else TL:DR
hawaiianfire 0
I'm simply stating that people can come up with better more interesting topics of conversation then call 911. I mean we all know that is a no brainer. 6 can come up with a better comment. TL:DR? Is that supposed to be too late dont read?
hawaiianfire 0
Ahh you see a good portion of the rambling on was supposed to be somewhat ironic and sarcastic. But I guess you didn't look into it.
Sebastian_NG 17
I didnt find it ironic nor sarcastic or with any other kind of humour for that matter, so hawaiianfire would you do yourself a favor and stop posting pointless comments you're just embarrasing yourself trying to sound smart when you clearly have no idea of what you're saying
MostDopeee 0
Wow, 49. Reading your little essay was a complete waste of time.
drawmesunshine 17
Good lord, who shat in hawaiianfire's Froot Loops this morning?
lolman222 0
Hawaiianfire is a troll. Leave him be. He just wants attention to make up for other lacking things. For example: his lack of brain development, his tiny penis, his incredibly lonely life, his overweight body, etc.
benderbot19 0
Sorry, guys. I shat in hawaiin's froot loops.
Skittlepickle 13
Lol. 1-800 CHOKE DAT HO! ^^^^familiar?;)
abbyhoneywaffles 11
No one looked into it because no one bothered to read it.
MoBam 0
OP just kill yourself. Makes life easier
hawaiianfire 0
Lolman is OP's culprit. Just look at how much he found out about my life :O. He must be stalking me!
hawaiianfire 0
Ok let me summarize for you. People post stuff about their personal life here to make them feel better. Other people take that away when they try to latch on to it. #6 wrote leave the house and call the cops but we all know that by the time his FML got moderated it would be too late.
TeamDazu 5
Hawainfire. You just dissed your self idiot. Get a life.
yankfan89 27
Seriously I would be afraid to be in the house since he probably in the house with you
mrfry1234 4
Get buried, and stay buried, Hawaiianfire.
Sebastian_NG 17
lol I'm pretty sure that at this point even if hawaiianfire posted the most kickass comment ever he would still get buried
Mister_Triangle 21
6-Could not have said it better myself
xXshadowrollerXx 6
All of you are bottom feeders. You all hated on Hawaiianfire, just to get your own small portion of satisfaction. Thumb me down, but please people: Originality is your friend!
shardynfahey 19
True dat
HerWrongHole247 18
Triggered.
penizlol 2
U annoy me
babyyninjas 1
yeah right bullshit who want to stalk you? haha
underguarded 20
Your house isn't going to save you from someone that creepy or disturbed. Phone the police and ask for someone to come down and take a look And track the number.
akayc32 0
They'd probably be gone by the time the police got there... And it's restricted, meaning there is no number to be traced. It's not like you can call a provider and ask them to trace a number that you don't know.
teentee401 37
They can trace the call itself...they don't need the number.
Blueglasscup 18
Police. And barricade yourself in a room while you're at it.
datoismyname 22
Was that single word "police" supposed to make sense?
Ferretface 13
Context.
ewputthataway 0
I wish to marry your picture.
otyphoonx 0
could it be your neighbors playing a joke?
uFayel 6
That would be a horrible joke.