Today, like every other day my boyfriend and I try and have sex, his dog cried and whined outside of his room until we stopped. She does this all the time and it kills the mood instantly. I can't have sex because of a toy poodle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML
Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML
Today, I found out that sometimes when my girlfriend is mad at me she will allow our unfixed male dog to jack off on my pillows when I'm at work. She won the battle and the war. FML
Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML
Today, and like every day before it, my boyfriend’s snoring is keeping me up all night. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
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Top comments
19jburner 15
Boop the snoot.
BloodyBrilliant 15
Buy a male dog. She needs her dude too.
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Comments (67)
KaylaTackett 18
Try playing some music to drown out the sounds of the dog crying.
ashleymcbride27 9
let the dog in the room. give her a toy or something to entertain her.
MrGarrett26 11
or he just doesn't wanna have sex with you
rad2007 8
That's what you get for dating a "guy" who owns a toy poodle
Real4Real 11
Put the dog outside
tsubaki7 12
That happens to me too but with a baby
Sanguinairius 33
Music my friends. Invest in a decent stereo, pop on some tunes and drown it out. Eventually the dog will learn whining at the door grants her nothing and either go lay down or pipe down. Otherwise you need to address the separation anxiety between the dog and your boyfriend via training (such as she goes in the crate whenever you guys need a bit in the bedroom etc) there's many constructive options for you guys to be intimate in peace without further stress to the dog or inconvenience to your moods. Good luck!
chosha_fml 27
Don't leave her in the hallway outside the door. Put her in a room further away like the bathroom with a toy or snack.
summergurl16 14
Tbh my boyfriends dog does that to me too... Only when she can see me hugging or kissing or giving him affection does she get that way..... It's really irritating that I have to put her in her crate and turn her away every time I want to kiss him cause she's jealous...
McFishFilet 9
Lmao your boyfriend gets **** blocked by his own dog