Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I slipped on a banana and hit my head. I woke up in the ER and thought it was a dream. Turns out it wasn't. FML
Today, I found a banana on my bed. It was black and shriveled because I accidentally left it there after I thought I finished the whole bushel I bought last week. I've been sleeping in my bed all week and didn't notice. FML
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
Today, I tripped on an actual banana peel and fell over in front of my crush. I'm pretty sure that's the closest I'll ever come to being a meme. FML
Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, I woke up screaming "FUCK OFF!" because I had a dream that someone threw broccoli through my window. FML
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Top comments
rockne93 17
Orange you glad you aren't afraid of bananas, guys?
WFFLPWND 10
You must peel very bad... (I'm so sorry I have to)
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Comments (170)
MedChew 19
That's nothing Try living with a fear of balloons. Parties are always very awkward and nerve wrecking for me.
lowshadows 21
oh you're virgin for sure lol.
uniannonymous 5
Omg I thought I was the only one. I hate bananas.
Cass_x 22
i'm afraid of clowns. so I believe that you can be afraid of bananas.. fyl
middlesister04 5
How did you develop a banana phobia? I've heard of a clown phobia, but a banana phobia? Do you run for your life when you see a banana like they do on The Maury Povich Show??
Muttley9 13
I am sorry for you; I have no real food phobias, which is why I look the way I do. :) However, I am fearful of snakes and frogs... so we all have our weak spots with something.
hamzor 5
Do you know the Banana song by tthe minions? I guess that's your least favourite song then?
Epikouros 32
So you'll be glad you didn't have my childhood nightmare about banana snakes!
wanderluststars 7
This just reminds me if the courage the cowardly dog episode where they all go into the future to see it run by bananas. Anyway, sorry OP that your fear isn't one you can really avoid because of trips to the supermarket and other people probably have them In their houses too. Try some therapy or council ing if it's that bad (: good luck too uou
davincidasecond 24
I've heard of weirder things, actually. Like my cousin having a panic attack when I accidentally got mayo on him. We literally had to get him to the hospital because he was hyperventilating like crazy.