Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I slipped on a banana and hit my head. I woke up in the ER and thought it was a dream. Turns out it wasn't. FML
Today, I found a banana on my bed. It was black and shriveled because I accidentally left it there after I thought I finished the whole bushel I bought last week. I've been sleeping in my bed all week and didn't notice. FML
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
Today, I tripped on an actual banana peel and fell over in front of my crush. I'm pretty sure that's the closest I'll ever come to being a meme. FML
Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, I woke up screaming "FUCK OFF!" because I had a dream that someone threw broccoli through my window. FML
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Top comments
rockne93 17
Orange you glad you aren't afraid of bananas, guys?
WFFLPWND 10
You must peel very bad... (I'm so sorry I have to)
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Comments (170)
ilovefall10 21
As silly as this phobia sounds, I can really believe someone could be afraid of bananas. I know that because I have a phobia of popsickles. Not even joking.
buckdharma 38
Especially them ScrewBalls. You lick all the way down and find two balls. That's just not right, you know?
1947Chevy 17
Mine is stickers
buckdharma 38
Even smiley faces? :)
notapotato 12
Bananas be like,(You bout to get peeled muthafucka).
ImADamnPickle 6
this, made my life.
1947Chevy 17
I know how you feel I don't have a problem with bananas but I do have an irrational fear of stickers. It sucks when a phobia reaches that point that it even bothers you in your sleep.
srbuckley322 10
I'm assuming you aren't a big fan of Doctor When, then
animalxcrackers 20
Knife or banana, Knife or banana, Knife or banana, WHICH WILL YOU CHOOSE?
ZY1431 24
or a knife shaped like a banana
AznSoda 11
I'm experiencing flashbacks of an episode on the Suite Life on Deck.
W_Surgenor 7
I had the same dream but with zuchinni's.
just16letters 15
Sounds like my normal Friday night
worldclassrager 41
Well the banana's in pajamas but be your worst nightmare...