Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I saw my dad on a bike, so I shouted after him. He turned his head around and then ran into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
Today, I was working on my computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eyepatch in a couple of days. FML
Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML
Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
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Top comments
missxmelon 0
lol at least you weren't actually mugged!
AxCxDxDx 0
Would you have been more freaked out if it was someone you didn't know holding a banana to your head?
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Comments (154)
missxmelon 0
lol at least you weren't actually mugged!
geovanni 9
how is this an fml?
UziTopete 0
cuz he literally thought he was gonna die he probly cried and maybe peed a little
Soybean254 0
HAHA your dad is fucken awesome!
Soybean254 0
should have said my bitch of a dad is greedy and won't give me an allowance and how could you tell it was his voice
Shystai 0
Look on the brightside. He isn't gay..
NUMBER23LEBRON 0
fyl
failirl 0
it isn't, it is more of an MLIA
cheerleader58965 0
ok why do u hav a pic of yourself that's screams ATTENTION! that's an fml all by itself
Reyo 2
Would you rathor it have been a REAL mugger holding a REAL gun?
nik9166 0
I belive he was, bannas are serious
Danielt104 6
Lol, your dad is awesome! that would scare the crap out of me though, Fyl
ElMarkino 0
i agree, your dad is awesome
sammiexrawrs 0
that's not even cool, I've had that done to me, but it was an actual gun.
smirfluv92 0
hell yeah!!! I like your dad. and maybe he was trying to teach you to be more aware of your suroundings.
Shystai 0
36... Whom are you talking about?
DonkeyDelight 0
I'd much rather it be my dad with a banana than a dude with an actual gun.
lolitsmadi 0
?
MelMel1997 0
Wow!!!!! My dad is such a drunk dumb ass!!! I came home from school one time with my friends and he was half naked!!!!! only had a towel on!!!!
Hot_Gurl4556 0
cuz the person was like omfg I'm gettin mugged
Zills 0
sounds like a mlia I'd be relieved too op
maa_rico 4
so you did not recognize your dad's voice?
AznWaffle8 0
Agreed w/ 31, this is an MLIA. I would've, on reflex, spun around and snatched the banana. It would've smushed all over my hands.
coco0123 0
maybie ur dads ah MONkEY !
Poke_Her_Face_fml 0
haha #87! YDI for living in the ghetto.
DEATHxxPROOF 0
agreed.
AVainAttempt 0
#58 ftw!
mongoosepanda 0
your dad is a G!
hiwopper 0
Ahahah ****
AxCxDxDx 0
Would you have been more freaked out if it was someone you didn't know holding a banana to your head?
seabrook 7
usually a snickers lol
mack4225 0
Ha I was gonna say that.
Caayouteepie 0
How is this an fml at all? So what, your dad put a banana to your head...
RabenSchwartz 3
it should be on mlia not fml
AxCxDxDx 0
Maybe they REALLY don't like bananas!
Caayouteepie 0
Hahah that would sound better though. Today, I was walking down the street when my dad snuck up behind me and poked me with a banana. MLIA
Shystai 0
Because she was probably scared to death? Therefore felt horrible, making it a FML.
The_Norwegian 2
Well maybe it was his "banana"?
animaniatico 0
and this is a FML how? your life is not '******' give me a break ㄱㄱ
MadeOfAwesome 1
That's terrifying, that's what makes it an FML. If you what you thought a gun was pressed to head, you wouldn't be scared at all? Whatever.
rockediny 0
doesn't mean his life is ******, he'll get over it in hours.
8trickster8 0
From the FAQ: "It’s a collection of everyday anecdotes and stories likely to happen to anyone and everyone, sent to us exclusively by our users, which we then publish on the site. This is a space where you can let it all out and unwind by sharing the little things that screw with your day, and maybe realize that you are not alone in experiencing day to day crap." "LITTLE THINGS THAT SCREW WITH YOUR DAY," Which describes the post
px_fml 0
hahaha. I wish my dad was that fun.
your_face 15
...So you think your life is f'd because you WEREN'T being robbed at gunpoint?
MikeStern 1
Maybe his dad was serious, if OP is allergic to bananas.
love2bu 0
maybe that person is allergic to bananas!¡!
grimpow_fml 0
I don't see how this is an FML. you weren't hurt, you still have your money, and probably had a good laugh. you're just sad
ipwnallmen 10
cant be the only one thinking, oh, Tom Bergeron!!!