Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I slipped on a banana and hit my head. I woke up in the ER and thought it was a dream. Turns out it wasn't. FML
Today, I found a banana on my bed. It was black and shriveled because I accidentally left it there after I thought I finished the whole bushel I bought last week. I've been sleeping in my bed all week and didn't notice. FML
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
Today, I tripped on an actual banana peel and fell over in front of my crush. I'm pretty sure that's the closest I'll ever come to being a meme. FML
Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, I woke up screaming "FUCK OFF!" because I had a dream that someone threw broccoli through my window. FML
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Top comments
rockne93 17
Orange you glad you aren't afraid of bananas, guys?
WFFLPWND 10
You must peel very bad... (I'm so sorry I have to)
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Comments (170)
ericm87 3
Wow bananas huh?
Llama_Face89 34
I'm a banana I'm a banana LOOK AT ME MOVE!!! Yeah yeah!
satomisum4280 2
You're afraid of bananas? Really? -__-
edteach01 1
kill your self
brimmster103 1
What are you on?
Xotoolyxo 16
Stick to grapes, but watch out they might try to grape you in your dreams
MatsumotoMania 13
Right! Bananas! How to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana: Now it's quite simple to defend yourself against the banana fiend! First of all! You force him to drop the banana! Next, you eat the banana, thus disarmin' 'im! You have now rendered 'im helpless!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Anyone else have the Brian Griffin scene in their head when he's wearing a banana suit singing "Peanut Butter Jelly Time?" :D I've heard of a lot of phobias, some more weird than others, but bananas? That's a new one for me!
SeksyNightmare 16
I recommend staying away from the kids tv show Bananas In Pyjamas, if you have kids
Etweens96 25
My advice to you is, grab a banana, tell it "I'm stronger than you, I'm not afraid" and bite into it!