Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I slipped on a banana and hit my head. I woke up in the ER and thought it was a dream. Turns out it wasn't. FML
Today, I found a banana on my bed. It was black and shriveled because I accidentally left it there after I thought I finished the whole bushel I bought last week. I've been sleeping in my bed all week and didn't notice. FML
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
Today, I tripped on an actual banana peel and fell over in front of my crush. I'm pretty sure that's the closest I'll ever come to being a meme. FML
Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, I woke up screaming "FUCK OFF!" because I had a dream that someone threw broccoli through my window. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
rockne93 17
Orange you glad you aren't afraid of bananas, guys?
WFFLPWND 10
You must peel very bad... (I'm so sorry I have to)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (170)
FrankHotpants 31
This is quite unusual, but I'm sure somewhere out there someone's dreaming of getting shot by an apple.
143amandaott 10
Wtf! U must be psycho! That's rediculous
jay_south 19
Huh... I thought bananas came in bunches…
jess_wileyy 12
LMFAO
Link/DD 13
I couldn't help not laughing at this. But I'm sorry I have many weird nightmares
Enslaved 38
Phobia of bananas-- What would Freud say?
perdix 31
#51, that the OP really has a fear of penises. It's not really an unreasonable fear; those things cause a lot of trouble, both for their owners and everyone else!
Enslaved 38
Tell me about it! Who wants a bunch of Chiquitas!?
kingvssj0 9
He was stabbed with bananas aldo
flufee2 27
At least it was just a dream, ripe?
sdroze1389 31
hey nightmares are are stupid and mostly out of your control. I have sleep terror, I would know.
pwnman 33
Don't make bananas make you bananas, OP. Get a knife and stab every banana approaches to you!