Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed, "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a Dementor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML
Today, while walking down the street, I was violently beaten up by a man in a Darth Vader outfit. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML
Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
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Top comments
Rumbelle_fml 22
That's a clear violation of the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy, and I sincerely hope you reported him to the Ministry.
Gaga_is_God6969 13
LMFAO. I'm sorry....but that's kinda awesome, actually.
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Comments (101)
suckmyclock 11
I would have laughed my arse off if I saw this happens
dinosxxrawr 22
such a brave man. standing up against a dementor.
Btelgeus 11
YDI for not having a sense of humor, I would have laughed
coolboy675 16
You should have called him a snitch and flown like it was Quidditch.
jellycorn 13
Did you try to suck all his happy memories out?
zombieslayer83 19
So many places to go with this comment!
Catkam623 27
Most of them dirty
unixdude 9
Yeah, because who hasn't stopped their daily commute in order to suck the life out of a homeless man?
Headcrab 29
OP should have used expelliarmus, or kiss of death.
MuseFan1991 14
have you read the books?
Diesel_baby 18
41, #23 must have just watched the movies and called it good.
Vix_Sparda 11
that sounds funny but its still sad. sorry
jaime411 11
Perfect FML to start your morning!
infectedsense 15
YDI for wearing a poncho, whoever the hell decided that they are fashionable must be laughing their ass off all the way to the bank.
RedPillSucks 33
Perhaps they wear it cause it's functional.
3rdbass 9
Look at the bright side. At least Dudders can't give you "the old 1-2."