Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed, "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a Dementor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML
Today, while walking down the street, I was violently beaten up by a man in a Darth Vader outfit. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML
Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
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Top comments
Rumbelle_fml 22
That's a clear violation of the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy, and I sincerely hope you reported him to the Ministry.
Gaga_is_God6969 13
LMFAO. I'm sorry....but that's kinda awesome, actually.
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Comments (101)
Kristoffer 35
The old fool can't tell a Death Eater from a Dementor.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
That's hilarious!
avaeba 14
Your life might be really awesome
onorexveritas 24
that is hilarious xD best fml
mokielove 10
Lmao Omg I laughed so hard. you shoulda drooped rolled graded a stick jumped up and said avadacadaba .
DracoSpirita 21
It's Avada Kedavra, you Muggle.
diaosi 4
Abracadabra
shayundead 9
thats awesome :)
jcrb 11
EPIC!!
BrayB 6
That's awesome
xkncas 8
More like he expected you to go buy him a bottle of patron...lazy f***er.
poetry10111 6
That is epic!!