Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed, "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a Dementor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML
Today, while walking down the street, I was violently beaten up by a man in a Darth Vader outfit. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML
Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
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Top comments
Rumbelle_fml 22
That's a clear violation of the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy, and I sincerely hope you reported him to the Ministry.
Gaga_is_God6969 13
LMFAO. I'm sorry....but that's kinda awesome, actually.
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Comments (101)
RoboCunnilingus 23
If you really feel that strongly about it, you could always come back and suck out his soul and happiness.
Geekyandproud 19
He needs a ******* medal!
helloimclaudia 30
This has to be one of the funniest FML's I've read.
Silly_Lilly6969 23
OMIGOD!!!! This isn't an FML!! This is amazing! Man I wish this happened to me or something. Respect for my homeless Harry Potter friend.
Ciara4757 16
Im glad even homeless people get to enjoy Harry Potter
beehardxcore 26
This made my day. :]
chrisp87 11
Lmao! this FML just made my day.
mywtfmoments26 18
this FML is the best!!!! made my week.
DeadxManxWalking 27
Should be on MLIA.
purplexpinapple 11
Of course they won't he'd just "Obliviate" them.