Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML
Today, date night with my boyfriend. I had my makeup done, fake lashes, etc. He was staring at me and I thought, "Oh, he loves how my eyes look" so I started flirting a lot, fluttering my lashes. We then took a pic and saw my lashes were falling, so I asked, ”Were they like that the whole night?” He replied, “Yeah, it looked weird.” FML
Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML
Today, I played a goth character in my friend's student film with goth clothes, lip ring, eyeliner, etc. We went into Starbucks at break and an elderly man came up to me and said "Your kind is the reason for all the bad stuff in this world" and then spat in my $5 drink. FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute barista by pretending to know a lot about coffee. I said, “I’ll take a macchiato, extra creamy.” He smiled and said, “That’s… not a thing.” I panicked and said, “Neither is my love life.” FML
Today, I went on an a date with a guy I met online. We were waiting in line at Starbucks when he turned to me and said, "Do you want anything?" Just before I was about to answer, he practically shoved in front of me and paid for himself. The cashier looked more horrified than I did. FML
Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML
Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML
Today, I had to dress like a diva for a drama performance and my friend said I looked like a hooker. Then someone said, “If hookers looked like that, they wouldn't get any money." FML
Today, I went to the park and people were crowded around some dancers. One of the dancers danced up to me, gave me a flower, and winked at me. I was very flattered, until the same dancer asked me to give the flower back after the dance so he could use it on the next show. FML
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Top comments
lordtumbles 9
Dancers dont make much money, I think you found your new calling.
Leki_0609 11
lol that's pretty funny. Would have loved to be there.
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Comments (135)
TheOneTC 8
Well, what is it?
wowlolreally 12
Obviously the amount the prize money for the competition
doctor_glitter 6
The blood of your first born child.
FinalDarkWraith 10
Looks like we got ourselves a rumplestiltskin up in here
Leki_0609 11
lol that's pretty funny. Would have loved to be there.
sab1 8
xXx.
mn_shr 22
Witness some drag queen alert and all...
rick1 8
Nikki minaj style :p
PoopNuggetLeader 4
Well how much do you charge?
ElatedEarthling 15
Its more than he can afford. She charges by the skin cell, so just a handshake could cost him upwards of $100.
PoopNuggetLeader 4
Lol, I like your comment.
DyslexicPanda 12
There is seriously a button just for that express cause #72... -_-
lordtumbles 9
Dancers dont make much money, I think you found your new calling.
Eorlas 31
Interesting you say that, because a bunch of my coaches make $100k+ per year. I wonder what "dancers" you're basing this "fact" off of.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Tap dancers? Polka dancers?
balletteacher 11
I'm a classical ballet coach and I barely made a grand total of $6,000 last year. We don't make that much money.
jjmiller1001 17
I doubt that's a full time gig though
Eorlas 31
@71 - Ballroom dancers. I got the number from simple arithmetic. I know what their per lesson cost is because, well, I pay it, and I also know how many lessons they usually coach in a week. It depends on where you are, and what your accomplishments are. I live close enough to a major US city where I take lessons from former/current national and world champions. If you go work for a Fred Astaire or Arthur Murray, you can potentially make a big paycheck. But you'll have a very inaccurate experience of the ballroom dance world and you will not become a very good dancer.
miasaur 11
Mmm Starbucks
EpicSquishii 21
MMMMM bathroom mirror picture..... :|
CaptMurdock 25
Starbucks isn't even that good. It's certainly not worth it with the prices they charge.
ButterflyLadyBug 14
only time I waste my time with Starbucks is for their wifi . and I go there with real coffee lovers so I never pay anyway :)
seniorchang 16
I hope you didn't say a dime less than a Grande....
AshaaFerreira 22
How about a nickel less?
Nicole1225 14
at least now you know how to make some easy cash...
mario2012 18
Yea, a hooker is a great job, if you want to get a million STDs.
NagainaFier 16
Not to mention being arrested; that will look GREAT on a resume
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I didn't know someone could even get a million STDs! And here I thought my 100,000 was too much..
ozpunker 20
I would have told him that it was more than he could afford.
tj4234 36
It's a Starbucks, what else did you expect?
rg350dx 29
Shitty, overpriced coffee and a thousand Mac books open playing horrible music of bands no ones ever heard of.
monnanon 14
i think he meant thr cleintele not the staff. starbucks is a well known hipster haven.
wjh100 13
yes because everyone knows a franchise with some odd 10000 shops is totally underground man.
KrustyKrap 5
115 I think he meant that hipsters go to starbucks, not that starbucks is an "underground hipster palace" or something. Just a thought :)
olpally 33
So, is it like throwing a hotdog down a hallway down there? Lol. I hope you told him the rate was "go beat yourself off you douche bag."