Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, I was walking to my car when I saw a large man walking behind me. I hurried to open my car as he was approaching quickly, but the door wasn't unlocking and I panicked. I then realized that it wasn't even my car. As I walked away from it, he walked up and unlocked the door. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, I was leaving Wal-Mart with my daughter when a man was speeding the wrong way in the parking lot. To avoid getting hit, I pulled over to the side. He thought I was going the wrong way. He got out cursing and screaming and punched a dent in my hood. FML
Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML
Today, I was walking to my car from my workplace. When I was about 20 feet from my car, a guy who was clearly on drugs yelled at me and stole my keys and car. Right before leaving the parking lot, he hit a stop sign and then yelled that my car was broken and ran off. FML
Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML
Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Some_guy 6
Today, I noticed someone leaving the parking garage. She dropped a 5-dollar-bill. I picked it up and tried to return it to her, but when I caught up to her, she turned around and threatened to spray me with mace. FML.
skinonskin 0
lol at #2 But yeah I once saw an old man drop his glasses without realising, so being a good citizen, I picked them up and ran after him. I got punched by a passer-by who thought I was trying to jump the old man. FML
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (131)
kitkat26_fml 0
Better safe than sorry I guess! He should have waved the bill around!
ZingDooper 0
I am so glad I don't live in the states, every FML that says somebody is doing a normal gesture ends up being attacked or something, the states need to learn how to become more civil.
rocketeer_97 1
im glad you live in canada because we dont need more twits like you. so stfu, kay ? thanks(:
agentx52 13
110- A guy was crazily yelling at someone. You'd drive off just as fast. So shut up.
Luunatic 13
What is she didn't turn around?
Some_guy 6
Today, I noticed someone leaving the parking garage. She dropped a 5-dollar-bill. I picked it up and tried to return it to her, but when I caught up to her, she turned around and threatened to spray me with mace. FML.
ifmlftw 0
way to be original. *sarcasm*
magicbananas3 6
Way to be stupid *not sarcasm*
deaddonkey 15
I was going to say that someone was Probabbly going to write about almost getting maced returning someone's money. Had a feeling someone would beat me to it.
loveyababe 0
well THAT sucks. but hahahahaha #2 its true the guy must've been totally taken off gurard. "hey miss! you dropped.." "eat mace, fool!"
iknowimawesome 13
haha. fool. haha.
gogo44444 28
^haha idiot haha
NoBounceNoPlay 0
I guess he could've said, "Hey, you dropped something!" Still, I think people are overly paranoid these days. Not everyone's out to get you. lol
Rebii 0
Why are people so goddamn mistrusting these days? Are you that much of a paranoid bitch that you can't turn around for 2 seconds to see what he wanted? Come on!
iknowwhatimsayin 0
could have been a mugger
Kitten_love 22
I used to be a super trusting person and people abused it. Now I have a lot more problems trusting people. It's not paranoia, it's protection and learning from mistakes. I'm glad you've had the pleasure of safety but unfortunately not everyone gets that basic human right :(
skinonskin 0
lol at #2 But yeah I once saw an old man drop his glasses without realising, so being a good citizen, I picked them up and ran after him. I got punched by a passer-by who thought I was trying to jump the old man. FML
acro_actress95 0
See if someone was chasing me I wouldn't have stopped but if I did I would probably have just kicked them anyways so your smarter than me for actually giving him a chance to say that he was giving you your five bucks back. You don't deserve it in my opinion because you really can't trust anyone in todays society.
Aflacduck 0
YDI. Not every man is trying to get into your pants, you could have taken the three seconds it takes to turn and notice what he was saying.
EmreArslan 11
I wanna get into her pants MMMMMM delicious!
awesomeamandas 37
when someone gets attacked by a dog and thus becomes afraid of all dogs no one bats an eye. when someone gets attacked by a man and becomes afraid of all men they get bombarded with 'stop being so paranoid, not every man is out to get you' it's perfectly understandable as to why OP was scared of the guy, you never know if they plan to mug you, or do something like returning a lost item. if I were walking alone and someone yelled at me to stop I'd have done the same thing unless they told me I've dropped something.
Kamazar 0
Had I been the guy, seeing the mace, I would've said to myself, "Screw this, I'm keepin' them $5." Jesus, must everybody whip-out their little aerosols and tasers every time a man you don't know gets within 5 feet of you? Now if he's gagging you with a chloroform-soaked rag, I can understand...
cacheson 42
If he's gagging you with a chloroform soaked rag it's probably already too late.
funplex 0
At least he had the decency to return it.