Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I turned twenty two. Three days ago I was fired. Two days ago I failed a midterm. Yesterday my boyfriend and I broke up. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML
Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me on my 30th birthday, through text message. FML
Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML
Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Orgasming Parakeets.
BananaSticker 0
I can only hope my 20th birthday is as cool as yours OP. Here's a banana sticker as your birthday present from me, though. :]
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Comments (233)
triggerit 5
you moved so fast from your b/f that he had single solitary chance to present on your b/d a can of beer... and he did it with all his might... happy birthday to you
PwningLamp1 0
q
Pleasure_Pirate 0
At least you won't be thirsty while you're getting your window fixed.
illmatic2 16
I like the way this is written.
rlerke 0
stop being so dramatic.
RedPillSucks 33
Happy Birthday. There's always room for beer.
GETOVERIT2039 0
it's my birthday too!
dakotamacc 5
it's mi bday 2!!!! 15 lol
pilotX1000 0
I agree with 68 WTF!!!
finndizzle 0
thats either a really solid beer can or a really weak windshield...