Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I turned twenty two. Three days ago I was fired. Two days ago I failed a midterm. Yesterday my boyfriend and I broke up. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML
Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me on my 30th birthday, through text message. FML
Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML
Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Orgasming Parakeets.
BananaSticker 0
I can only hope my 20th birthday is as cool as yours OP. Here's a banana sticker as your birthday present from me, though. :]
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Comments (233)
XOIIO 0
Idiot, the windshield is in the front. the back one is the back window.
SheoDagana 0
Without really knowing much, it's possible she deserved it. Or that her ex is an asshole.
KingAdrock 16
File a police report and take his ass to small claims for the damage. Set the court date on HIS birthday.
BambooSwitches 0
take him to court
ecascio2010 9
what a douchebag. you're better without him.
effstephslife 0
ydi for dating someone so stupid in the first place
StaticMatt 2
Back wind shield?
a0c9r2c0 0
its mind tomorrow I'm stuck on active duty an hour from home, my Tio was taken off life support today and my sister is being induced tomorrow.
Bbhd05 0
She must have been a bitch :)
Honda288 2
You must drive a Model T. All decently new cars gave safety class all around. It would take one hell of a beer can to even make a crack in