Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML
Today, I woke up from celebrating my 29th birthday. I guess it's true that tolerance drops quickly as you age, because I stayed in and only drank a few beers with my husband and spent the entire day retching so hard I puked up blood. My partying days are definitely over. FML
Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML
Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 21st birthday. Along with a pair of $80 shoes, I bought him a birthday cake, his favorite ice cream and a $15 balloon. I showed up to the party and he was very intoxicated. So intoxicated that he pops the balloon, drops the cake, and throws up all over his new shoes. FML
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Top comments
pineapplefiend 13
You hadn't drunk anything before then?
WCARlover 35
.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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Comments (165)
PostItSticker 11
Don't worry OP, it gets better
Roevera 14
I don't think it could get much better after barfing on his mom.. then again can't get worse.
Jonkbaby 23
doesn't matter had sex
aaahhhfire21 0
I don't see it getting better op can't even drink away her memory of the occasion
br0ccoli 15
1- I agree, this is the lowest of the low and it can only go up from here. No mother should have her son's semen regurgitated all over her. Gross.
StopDropNRoll 11
8 you confuse me! So it can't get better and it also can't get worse! Hmm so what does it get?
Idonebeenhad 17
I think everybody is at first, at least a little bit
starman02 12
It does get better! Your body sets up a tolerance level the more you drink.. Today a beer.. Tomorrow a keg ;)
Annpop 1
Thats ok and better for you actually. When you come to realize all the side effects and death due to alcohol you will be happyy!! :D
iluvhobos 5
Perhaps not alcohol intolerant...maybe just Barley-intolerant. Try a bit of something else and see how you feel, OP.
SkoomaKi 28
Non-alcoholic beer?
LookOnBrightSide 12
2-Non-alcoholic wine is awesome. It makes you look exceptionally classy without the after effects of making a fool out of yourself. Try some non-alcoholic champagne! It's a hell of a drink. I'm an underage Muslim, so no alcohol for me.
Sidel 11
That is actually really good.
gamercanadian 11
Can't imagine life without beer, feel sorry for you OP.
ladyLALAA 29
It's ok 41, there's always vodka! :)
starman02 12
I'm sorry.. I'm sure it tastes great and all but what is the point ( and where is the fun) of non-alcoholic beverages? " ah what a long exhausting day at work can't wait to go home a crack me open a nice bottle of .. Milk.." or juice that's supposed to be wine?
TheEpicMilkMan 13
I'll take a milk :)
disengaged 6
Ummm 54, vodka is alcohol too. Op is alcohol intolerant. Not beer intolerant...
paintingxflowers 8
What's with all the barf FMLs lately?
ninjawatcher 2
Three in a row now.
yahoowizard 16
There can be a chain reaction of throwing up sometimes
uncivil 5
Penis
BRITTANYHUNGRY 0
No kidding, I was wondering the same thing.
pineapplefiend 13
You hadn't drunk anything before then?
WCARlover 35
Apparently not, hence the surprise :p lol
THE_A_TEEN 28
Maybe OP is one of those people who would rather wait until the legal American (since she's 21) age of drinking. Not every teenager drinks before the legal age. We're not all idiots.
THE_A_TEEN 28
I meant the irresponsible ones who are the reason why the legal.age is still at 21. I missed that part. Stupid me...
Pentium_4 27
that'd be impressive. i started drinking when i was 14
Pentium_4 27
well i still have an A- GPA in my bachelors program in computer IT management and can hold a job so i think i'll be okay.
Pentium_4 27
and 45 if you were talking to The_A_Teen then my bad...
asherm 15
I've known people underage who drank who weren't idiots. In CG, in port call, in foreign country. Law of the land. Old enough to serve, old enough to be served. A friend of mine turned down drinking, and glad to say I don't recall anyone underage getting into trouble in port call. Not all under age drinkers turn into idiots. Of course that age group is more likely to do more stupid shit because it's so taboo. But people at any age do stupid shit while drinking too much. As for OP, maybe start with fruity tropical drink. I couldn't stomach beer or taste of it at first
ShyAnn29 15
Beer is disgusting, in my opinion anyways
Michael_92 20
Just fyi drinking doesn't mean you are an idiot. Hell even drugs doesn't mean you are not responsible. To judge a person on them things is immature and just quite frankly stupid.
Pentium_4 27
i love beer. i think it tastes good
MisterMichael 9
Or the ones that don't know how to have a good time
smurfsarwales 9
iicaptain is that you? Please tell me you're the original, and change your pick back to the funny dog.
Squeaky_Tomato 14
Lol not everyone who drinks before turning 21 is an idiot. My sister is an ER doctor and was dunking when she was 16. I am an EMT and had my first drink at 16 as well. My parents are a judge and a nurse, one started drinking at 18 and the other waited until 21, but they both experimented with drugs in their teens and twenties. It's good to know you are so closed minded. People like you make me sick.
username1182 1
Cool story bro. Tell it again.
lerouxmaster 7
The average age where teens start drinking in Canada must be around 14-15, even though the legal age is at 18.
hypuuurness 6
139-yeah I agree with thatttt
berichsoon 11
See, that's why you try one before you turn 21 to know what to expect
iwadasn 33
That makes no sense. If she's alcohol intolerant now, she would have been alcohol intolerant when she was 20 or 18 or any other age.
SpruceDread4578 13
129- /facepalm
FYLminerocks 7
Can I have the rest of that beer?
THE_A_TEEN 28
No! It's MY beer! Mine!
coffee_man900 16
She drank the beer, not part of it. You don't want the rest. Trust me on that.
Nevereverland 8
He asked for beer , can i have whats left of the puke?
FYLminerocks 7
She..
coffee_man900 16
Guess She doesn't want the beer after all. :)
WCARlover 35
.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
TheEpicMilkMan 13
*pulls out birthday cake* :D
ariannaimelda 7
Poor mother! But on the up side, at least you won't have to worry about alcohol induced blackouts :) It's okay if you can't handle alcohol, there's other ways to have fun
6969awesome 0
Like weed :D
br0ccoli 15
9 - other ways to have fun: Karaoke. Dancing. Limbo. Conga lines. Edit: I just saw your pic. LOL.
Birdie_Sage 0
Happy twenty first birthday! BAAAAARRRRF
AugustBurnsToast 14
Your mind says woohoo but your body says psych!