Today, I got hit by a stray cantaloupe. That's not a typo. I hate my neighbors' kids with a burning passion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML
Today, I woke up at 4AM to the sound of lightning hitting a tree in my backyard, then that tree proceeding to hit my house. Later, my neighbor's tree fell over, which hit our fence, and they're not even home. FML
Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML
Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad. The thing exploded like an alien giving birth. Stinking juice and rotten inside all over the kitchen. Even behind the build-in closets. It smells like rotten fruit cheese and I can't reach behind the closets. FML
Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML
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Top comments
ihartmytdi 23
Time to introduce them to a stray watermelon.
pixierara 28
Have you talked to the parents about it? That's very odd to say the least.
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Comments (63)
pixierara 28
Have you talked to the parents about it? That's very odd to say the least.
Capriciousfox 27
That'll sound weird. "Hey can you tell your kids not to throw cantaloupe at me?"
Comrox 19
9, OP doesn't have to specifically mention that it was a cantaloupe.
CheekyRaccoon 27
#16 why not? It'd be understandable if it were small peices of candy, but a sizeable cantaloupe to the melon if done right can result to a possible concussion.
GhostFox 34
Not even necessarily 'done right.' The force of the throw combined with the density of a cantaloupe practically guarantees at least a minor cuncussion. It could also have caused neck damage due to the momentum, broken OP's nose if it hit them head on, or even damaged their windpipe if it hit there.
Comrox 19
27 - I mean simply that when a kid is throwing something at another person, it shouldn't matter if it's a napkin or a ball. Throwing is throwing, and it's not okay, no matter what the object is. It's especially not okay if the object could cause serious injury, but that doesn't make it okay just because it's a napkin, either.
Saikon1357 25
My biggest concern is how old/strong are these kids? Cantaloupes are heavy. So the kid must be too old to be throwing things around.
Comrox 19
#40, exactly! I wonder where the OP and the neighbor's kids were. I also wonder where the neighbor was. Hmm...
tantanpanda 26
It's possible with a catapult or sling.
tiger820 20
in my best Daffy duck voice.... this means waaaar!
SweetestHeart93 18
lmfaoo daffy duck
ihartmytdi 23
Time to introduce them to a stray watermelon.
zsromo 5
I find honeydew works bettee
gamermonster 34
I'd prefer a stray coconut though...
False_Stupidity 42
Or a rockmelon...
iseebearbears 27
Try a durian or jackfruit. Trust me, those would work better.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Tell your neighbors to control their kids. If they don't, file a complaint.
mr_sarcastic416 29
file a complaint with....
SpyroMello 29
The police
GhostFox 34
Depending on where they live, OP could also report them to the neighborhood management group, if it is a gated community. (Which seems unlikely, but who knows.)
cosmic_peanut 17
*brings out paintball gun*
dramaelf 37
There's only one way to deal with this- start stocking up on fruit and get a catapult.
ThrottleJockey 36
I'm more of a fan of the trebuchet.
weird_adult 27
make your own cantaloupe launcher and declare war!
kristadc 20
I'd chuck it right back at em
Jessika706 14
Hahahahahah made me laugh so hard. Just imagined someone picking up the cantaloupe and throwing it back over a fence. Hahahaha
gamecritic101 11
I need the rest of this story
jake131000 21
I was walking down the street and i got hit by felines and canines, i swear it was raining cats and dogs;)