Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I turned twenty two. Three days ago I was fired. Two days ago I failed a midterm. Yesterday my boyfriend and I broke up. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML
Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me on my 30th birthday, through text message. FML
Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML
Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Orgasming Parakeets.
BananaSticker 0
I can only hope my 20th birthday is as cool as yours OP. Here's a banana sticker as your birthday present from me, though. :]
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Comments (233)
tschell 0
oh man. I hate boys. start dating a girl and next year will be better :D
revolvingdoor 0
You're lucky he didn't tell you to make him a sammich
Trollz4daLULZ 2
That's what set him off in the first place: her terrible sammich-making skillz.
JINJANINJA 0
maybe she was on her way to subway, now that would have been harsh
congratz13 2
Wow...so many birthday stories...
OopsieDaisies 0
Full beer can?
caroline954 0
This is the third post TODAY about boyfriends ruining bdays.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Immanuel Kant? [edit: damned comment bug got me AGAIN! This was supposed to be a reply to Pendatik's "enough of your cant"]
pcakewafflebacon 0
rear window not windshield!!! harraglglglglydi
AGGoddess 2
If he broke up with you because you cheated on him, then you definitely deserve it. Otherwise, FYL indeed.
chickenhole 0
OP means Obortion Pretzel >:) happy birthday >:D
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Yeah, an O'Bortion is when an Irishman terminates a fetus.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
"Gonna"?! Don't give in to the horrible spelling/grammar that's so rampant here! NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Considering I was ******* around, yeah.
rhaath 0
you deserve it for dating such a looser. how messed up in the head must YOU be to wind up with a guy like that? Stop smoking and go to college.