Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I turned twenty two. Three days ago I was fired. Two days ago I failed a midterm. Yesterday my boyfriend and I broke up. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML
Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me on my 30th birthday, through text message. FML
Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML
Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Orgasming Parakeets.
BananaSticker 0
I can only hope my 20th birthday is as cool as yours OP. Here's a banana sticker as your birthday present from me, though. :]
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (233)
rileykins 0
Ahahahahahahahah I guess it's happy birthday to you?
sexybitch92 0
Aww well happy birthday !<3 your bf is meann.
rowannn 0
what does OP mean?
redbluegreen 41
Orgasming Parakeets.
sexybitch92 0
6: op means original poster.
Chrisskiies 0
Optimus Prime it's been established over and over again.
Etherpirate 2
Original Pranksta
givants 0
well at least ur not with an A-hole anymore
andruha1123 5
nom nom nom nom, nom nom nom nom nom nommmmm
cookiemobzta 0
we share birthdays
RainbowxxVeinsx 17
FYL but doesn't OP seem a bit "overjoyed" in this FML. >.<
Devanthegreat 0
HaPPy birthday to you **** yea
VegasSkiess 0
ure making him pay for the windshield right?
selenagirlbanned 0
I'm hallucinating comments...
Roflmaaark 0
How the **** do you break a windshield with a can?
maxrider 0
I like op being optimus prime better then anything ealse!
nabo4u 0
Obscure parabola's ex bf must have a wicked fast ball
Averizzle 0
Mark if it was a full beer can, and like the size of a malt, then I guess you could break a back windshield.. They aren't as strong as the front
hippiechick96 3
happy birthday :) and I've always wondered, what does op stand for?
RyGan 0
Oily Penis
rafiki19 1
that's what I thought !
hippiechick96 3
wait someone already asked that :p nevermind!
robertdr 0
hahaha oily penis that is wrong on too many levels
OhWowFYLindeed 0
1 beer can broke a back windshield? Nice throwing arm. o.o
mattman1994 0
you're only 20? your life does suck, you can't even drink it legally
kEnNy172 0
ok mission #1 Is try not to get banned again
atomicwedgie4u 0
maybe he thought op would like to have a drink after the traumatic breakup but she drove away so quick he didn't know how else to get it to her. Good on the boyfriend for being thoughtful now go sue his ass out of his next 5 years birthday money.
RedPillSucks 33
A full can of beer could probably do it if thrown hard. Especially those larger cans, like the fosters.
Melaniee_fml 0
you guys who don't know what op means why don't you just google it??
BoyFromTheFuture 0
Bust all his shit. the stuff he left at your place and anything he left in the car first. put bricks in your trunk and smash his windows out whenever he parks. throw bird feed and tuna into the holes in the windows and by morning his car will be covered in shit and smell like rotten tuna...Happy Birthday. I don't have any respect for dudes like that. unless you cheated on him and that's why he left you.
stewpididiot 11
yeah, it's prolly too shook up to drink. Beer out of a can is gross anyway. Blechh!!
ALindsey 0
I feel like it could be better... =P
senseofreason 0
that's what you get for drinking before 21. wait your turn.
quent10 0
a can through a windsheild? is he on some stuff?
Unfunktional 0
it's a good thing that ur rid of that idiot anyways... i mean seriously, ur not allowed to have a beer until you're 21. God what a moron!
xcl0wdx 0
lol you people are funny, but OP = original poster
authorkid 2
68 thy was exactly what I wanted to know
Elicy1984 0
You got beer on your birthday! :D be greatful!
LoganBballin16 0
he was givin u a beer for ur birthday u should be happy :D
monstermaniac 0
you are one pretty girl!
kdawg000 0
here in Canada it's 18 years old and 19 in some provinces :p
youngrob 0
mattman you can't drink legally either so zip it
boatsnhos 0
18 WINS :) it actually made my day
jacal 0
lol in australia you can drink if your 16 but cant buy it till your 18.
LMFAOwned 9
OP, stop being so negative. The beer can was his present! Derrrrrrr(:
sheribb 5
exactly what I was wondering
livelaughlove22 0
awww tht sucks im sorry :(
_swimcutie_ 0
#15 you look like Miley Cyrus(:
yukonesian 0
origional poster
cucuto89 0
I've seen worse. my friend got broken up with hours before her senior prom. 20 is no big deal
Iowa123 0
6 (rowann)- Noob...
tweetbaby14 18
ydi for saying happy birthday to me. and also you seem really happy about it so why make an fml?
kaileighbutt 0
awwwww, sorry Hun! happy birthday and just remember that there are worse things that could happen... like your appendix could rupture, or your family could disown you, or you could die?
cesfire 0
haha data funny
whatsernam3 3
Happy BDAY!!!!
Twunt 14
Sic shirt!
doink 0
Sic sweater!
BananaSticker 0
sic lack of picture!
Trollz4daLULZ 2
sic sticker! wait, are we ordering dogs to attack? or illustrating that a quoted word was misspelled in the original source? The word we're looking for is "sick", people!
whatsernam3 3
sic banana!!
BananaSticker 0
I was kinda going for the second one. But the first one sounds even cooler. :]
doink 0
Sic anteater!
Twunt 14
I'm sic of it too. [sic]
FFML_314 12
omg guys ur all so dum its sik not sic!
nabo4u 0
#85, are you a tranny?
FFML_314 12
If I tell you can I have a prize?
fisheatsbear 6
sic a tranny
FFML_314 12
OK, I hope that is less tranny for you. If not, go **** yourself. :]
nabo4u 0
I can't **** myself right now, I have to work. that pic is more passible. it was just a question. no offense.
cantfightfate 0
it's easy to insult people when you don't have a pic 97...wonder what u look like?
Twunt 14
nabo is probably sic-ly looking.
nabo4u 0
yeah, I'm fugly. I can't post a pic cuz I use the iPhone app. but I never called her ugly. just asked if she was a tranny. I can see how that may be slightly offensive. but it wasn't meant as an insult, just genuine curiosity.
cantfightfate 0
106 you're a douche If you think that's not offensive.
nabo4u 0
#108 please read my comment again. you'd see where I said that I can see how my question could be offensive, but my intent wasn't to offend.
justsayfuck 5
You can see how that is 'slightly offensive'? Oh well congratulations on your incredible capacity of empathy. It's very offensive and it doesn't make any sense either since FFML_314 looks absolutely nothing like a tranny.
cantfightfate 0
110 but really? it's ignorant to think that you wouldn't.
VegasSkiess 0
I think he asked becuz personally to me she has strong facial features. and maybe that wuld make him ask the question. I get that it was curiosity but things are taken differently when u say it over the Internet. so it was uncalled for
TIMBERWOLVES44 0
what if she, or whatever, actually is a tranny. who's the joke on now...
illmatic2 16
^^^ She isn't. So don't worry about it. She looks nothing like a tranny If you ask me.
meneedlove 0
Awww I'm sorry :( that poor beer was innocent :(
BananaSticker 0
I can only hope my 20th birthday is as cool as yours OP. Here's a banana sticker as your birthday present from me, though. :]
Etherpirate 2
Thats so brutal. Totally metal.
Bloodberry 0
in that case banana, I want a really shiny banana sticker for my b'day ;D
BananaSticker 0
etherpirate: Pshh totally brutals. bloodyberry: okay! I'll be sure to do that. :] wait! I dunno when your birfday is. Sooo, here's you one now. *gives you banana sticker* :D
RainbowxxVeinsx 17
I wish my therapist gave me banana stickers D:
fylorydi1994 0
I want a banns sr
fylorydi1994 0
oops sorry I mention can I have a banana sticker too? :) stupid iPad
FFML_314 12
At least it wasn't at your head. Happy birthday though. :]
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for not making him the right kind of sammich, causing him to lose his temper.
redbluegreen 41
Since he's into destroying property, that's when you back into him and pour bleach on his lawn.
FFML_314 12
On his lawn? Somehow I don't think that will hurt him.
redbluegreen 41
It won't hurt him directly, no, but if you wrote "bastard" on his front lawn, it'll last awhile.
ArtIsResistance7 1
Salt works too... *Remembers Halloween of '05*
piggy94 0
haha that sucks
peppa11 0
wow that six, I would tp his house.
mike12345678 0
that sucks.