Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I turned twenty two. Three days ago I was fired. Two days ago I failed a midterm. Yesterday my boyfriend and I broke up. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML
Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me on my 30th birthday, through text message. FML
Today, I celebrated my 22nd birthday. On my cake stood last year's "21" candle, to which had been added a single candle. Clearly, times are tough. FML
Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Orgasming Parakeets.
BananaSticker 0
I can only hope my 20th birthday is as cool as yours OP. Here's a banana sticker as your birthday present from me, though. :]
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Comments (233)
bugmenotmofo 34
For a can of beer to make it THROUGH the window, it must have been full. What did you do that would piss off someone so bad, they'd waste a beer?
icecream777 0
happy birthday
rileykins 0
and also.. why waste perfectly good beer!? and on a windshield of all things!!
peppa11 0
hey, does amy1 here use the FML app for iPhone/iPod touch?
BananaSticker 0
dude I think everyone on here does.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Maybe you should message Amy1 and ask her.
BananaSticker 0
lmao. that was hilarious! :D
WingsFan80 4
37 = win
FFML_314 12
I was thinking that same thing Trollz.
marylovesyou8D 7
lmaoooo. good one. XD
fylorydi1994 0
lol I use my iPad but it's really hard.. I'm too lazy to charge my iPod touch or iPhone :)
torrlynn37 0
Good luck with getting a straight answer 6, everyone kept saying weirdo crazy shit to me when I asked.
redbluegreen 41
Because the answer should be either A) remotely obvious and/or B) something you can easily Google.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
People say weirdo crazy shit to people who ask that b/c it's really not that hard to figure out.
FFML_314 12
How can it take you forever to figure lol out? You are apparently slow.
torrlynn37 0
I do 26, iPhone. Why?
Janedoe6 0
happy birthdayyyyy
torrlynn37 0
uhh it took me foreverrrrr to figure out what "lol" means. I dont think I'm gonna be able to figure out what "op" means easily. I'm sorry i don't know your Internet language.
redbluegreen 41
For everything that can be described under "internet lingo" that you don't understand, simply Google it. Urban Dictionary can also be very useful. (For OP, the definition is under the second link if you Google it.)
sexybitch92 0
38: lol don't worry about it, it took me forever to figure out with "lmao" meant lol.
sexybitch92 0
and also 38...as I said before.. op means original poster. Like the guy who posted the fml .
sabiancymbol 1
sarcasm is not apreciated
Jimboom 12
At least you have a can of beer. Oh yea, Happy birthday.
ArtIsResistance7 1
And legally can't drink it...
Jimboom 12
Legally a lot of people can't do a lot of things.... doesn't stop them from doing those things. ;-)
ArtIsResistance7 1
You're right! I once dropped a moose from a moving plane in Alaska.