Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm spending the night at my family’s house. I have to share a room with my two kids and their mother. The three of them snore like warthogs in a zoo. Desperate for sleep, I went to go sleep on the couch. The dog sleeping on the rug snores like an old truck. I’m never going to get any sleep. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, between my cats scratching every surface they can find, my boyfriend's snoring, and the dog barking at every slight noise outside, I'm unlikely to ever get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. FML
Today, after barely sleeping all week, I tried some ASMR videos to help me fall asleep. Both my dogs and my husband are out cold, snoring so loud I can't even hear the ASMR. FML
Today, and like every day before it, my boyfriend’s snoring is keeping me up all night. FML
Today, my dogs have coordinated a T-formation as I lay down to sleep. Essentially cutting me off 80% of the bed. Too tired to fight, too annoyed to sleep. FML
Today, my dog won't stop barking at his own shadow, my cat won't stop purring while kneading on me, and my new kitten won't stop squeaking. It's all very cute, but I can't sleep at all. FML
Today, I had to temporarily relocate to my brother's room after mine was being repainted. Not only do I have to sleep on the floor, but I also have to put up with my brother and dog both snoring loudly. What's worse is that they alternate in snoring. Goodbye sleep. FML
Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML
Today, I realized for the last year that my husband has been home from Iraq, I haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep at night. Not because he gets nightmares, but because he now snores so loud that the pets sleep at the other end of the house to get rest. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sparky82 11
Let me snore you the song of my people.
MyDadLeftMeInKFC 21
You sure know how to pick 'em
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (31)
MyDadLeftMeInKFC 21
You sure know how to pick 'em
Moerighan 23
You mean, you SNORE know how to pick em. ;)
tiptoppc 21
I think my 5 cats know this one, as well as “ode to taking up the whole bed”
Cow_Girl_Lilly 24
I understand why your fiancé and dog are in the bed, but I question the two-year-old? No if she or he had a bad dream then that's understandable but if they're just in your bed because they want to be there that's not right.
lyssymae 7
She was sick, that's why she was in my bed
Ashael 5
The dog is the one that has the least reasons to be there.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
So the dog is ok but not the kid? Logic lol
Nonny_mouse 7
The dog isn't at risk of being killed by suffocation from either the blankets or either parent rolling onto them.
DLBL 23
a two-year old is no longer an infant.
almost_there44 26
It's okay to have a dog in the bed, but not her own child? Your logic is not making sense to me. Wow!
lewlews 5
I slept in my mum's bed until I was 11. It's really not your place to tell someone how they should live, if someone wants to sleep with their child in their bed then I'm pretty damn sure there's worse things a parent can do.
MandieL 27
There are safe ways to co-sleep, and at 2, the toddler is more than capable of being able to sleep without being suffocated, and is big enough that anyone who rolls on top of them is going to wake up. I co-slept with my baby till she was 6 months. It's when you involve alcohol that it is bad as you tend to sleep deeper and are less likely to react, and more likely to harm your baby. Do some research before you start questioning someone else's parenting choices. Most countries promote safe co-sleeping.
Moerighan 23
I have 4 kids and co slept with all, the eldest is nearly 9 and the youngest is nearly 2 and they are still alive.
Iwannarock1 19
The dog has the most right to be in the bed! Co-sleeping with a baby increases the risk of SIDS by 45%, but by 2, the kid should be fine. But no nookie for op, with the baby in bed. :(
jg23 7
Maybe invest in some ear plugs? Good luck OP!
zippocobalt6 14
It's a never ending sto-ry~...
Lalala579121 28
A never ending snore-y.
ab290 10
Awww, a two-year-old snoring must be adorable tho ^_^
confused_wandere 26
I'm willing to bet that the dog snoring is FAR cuter than the kid, because dogs are actually cute, unlike kids.
usnwife 18
Its cute the first few minutes, but not after a while of trying to sleep!
daniannie 22
Lol I couldn't help but giggle at this.
sparky82 11
Let me snore you the song of my people.
creditless 14
Ambien and scotch... it's like a pleasant coma
daisy08 17
Mixing alcohol and medication is an extremely terrible decision.
creditless 14
and sarcasm is a real affliction I have, but thanks nurse
Lalala579121 28
Then you need to work on it. Sarcasm in text needs a bit of extra work to come across properly.
RichardPencil 32
Wait until the memory foam begins to recall all of the snores it remembers and starts replaying them!
usnwife 18
Right there with you OP. Hubs and 2 of my sons snore like crazy, and our dog too. We had a little over a month of all living in 1 room in hotels when we moved cross-country last year, I thought I was going to go insane... headphones with music playing was my only saving grace, it was worth getting tangled up in the cords! lol