Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Today, after a very poor night's sleep, I've had to stay awake and do housework while my husband, who slept like a baby last night, keeps on sleeping because he "didn't sleep well." He was snoring all night long, the reason I didn't sleep well. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML
Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
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Top comments
theatregurl 0
when I first read this I read it as "tried to sleep with my husbands" it took me a while to realize she was talking about 1 person... I think this is exactly the reason apostrophies were invented
AfterCloudia 4
Wow seriously? Just because he accidentally hit her in the face? Real shallow if you ask me =/ there are worst things in a marriage than accidentally getting elbowed in the face.
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Comments (57)
BrotherTheo 31
Hurm perhaps he should be checked for Sleep Apnea? Does he also stop breathing when he sleeps?
MsKittyKatWeber 10
I'd bet she would love it if he did. After many sleepless nights you begin to wish some awful things!
romano07 0
just punch him back tonight! >=]
5t3ff1k4h 47
Damn right... I've been elbowed in the nose before, and smacked across the face all while my (then) boyfriend was sleeping. Maybe he was dreaming? I don't know.
Lisa89 3
If he snores so bad don't sleep right next to him!
5t3ff1k4h 47
That might harm the relationship, though. I mean, I can understand where you're coming from; we all need our sleep. But there are ways to solve the problem apart from sleeping in a separate room or something. I haven't tried them, but I heard those nose strips work. As for the issue of him whacking her in the face, get a bigger bed? I've got nothing.
KingDingALing 9
Or she could tie him up. That's a win-win because the OP will get some sleep and then when they wake up, they can have kinky sex!
caramelluv 0
it's fml not solvemyproblems.con
dreamer1015 0
Been there! I get elbowed in the face all the time.
BloodyHeel 8
That's a shame.
jess2gd4u 0
yeah it sux. the wost i got was a punch in the face when my hubby rolled over. ooouch. lol
blackbird31 0
it's called a divorce...
5t3ff1k4h 47
Really? No... I'd rather keep who I'm with. I love him and I'm not going to dump him just because he (sometimes) snores. I'm no longer with the flailing guy, so that's not a problem. There are ways to solve the issue... why would you suggest divorce? I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that's inappropriate.
wifey28wx 0
this FML sucks...whats happening with the mods these days?
AfterCloudia 4
Wow seriously? Just because he accidentally hit her in the face? Real shallow if you ask me =/ there are worst things in a marriage than accidentally getting elbowed in the face.
quacky123 0
Sounds like my night, I gave up and slept on the couch lol