Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
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Top comments
pjsr 33
“Today... I was sleeping soundly, dreaming of eating a delicious, but tough, steak, when my wife slapped me across the face. What a way to wake up! FML”
RichardPencil 32
Quarantine dreams are getting weird. Your house sounds like the Zombie Apocalypse.
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Comments (10)
RichardPencil 32
Quarantine dreams are getting weird. Your house sounds like the Zombie Apocalypse.
silentbabydeer 10
I think he dreamt that he is a zombie eating your brain.
pjsr 33
“Today... I was sleeping soundly, dreaming of eating a delicious, but tough, steak, when my wife slapped me across the face. What a way to wake up! FML”
pawesome21 21
My wife just wakes me up with a *******, to each it’s own I guess.
weeping_willow 25
Does she know she’s your wife?
pawesome21 21
Yes
gar2014 23
Ya for him ! It’s a dream and outta his control .
bl3ur0z3 17
So YOUR fml is that YOU slapped your HUSBAND for something he couldn't control?
Jillian Cosby-Kelly 15
"what a way to wake up" yeah being slapped in the face by someone who IS awake and in control for something you did while NOT awake and in control is a really shitty way to wake up indeed. poor dude.
weeping_willow 25
Lemme guess... you also get pissed off when you have a dream that your husband cheated. Slapping him awake was the worst way you could’ve handled this situation. I hope you at least slapped enough sense into him for him to pack his bags and leave. You sound like a massive bitch. I feel bad for your husband.