Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML
Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML
Today, I thought I was all alone in the class, so I lifted up my leg and ripped a huge fart. One of my students was still in there. He told everybody. FML
Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML
Today, I farted A LOT during an exam, all silent, so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I'm now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
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Top comments
morganavery33 5
ah.
daughterofabitch 4
everyone one farts therefore you are also gross and stupid
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Comments (256)
StephyMonsterr 0
Hmmm. Guess it didn't go as planned.
HiccupAstrid 1
maybe you could of gotten away with it If it didn't smell bad!
nerdsgetmehot 23
Well, it was ALMOST a genius plan...
cthulhu1138 1
Spreading your buttcheeks apart greatly reduces the noise level. The goal is subtlety. Doing something that grabs everyone's attention (e.g. dropping objects) is the last thing you want to do.
5t3ff1k4h 47
OP, I think your timing's a little off.
Nunita310 0
hahaha this FML is ******* hilarious and it put me in a good mood. sucks for the person it happened to though. =o
_DANTE_ 0
I feel sorry for you cause that's embarrassing, but you kinda deserve it. Next time excuse yourself and go to the bathroom or something. Even if you COULD get away without anybody hearing, everybody else around you has to SMELL it... reminds me of this guy I sat next to a couple years ago who thought it was okay to let it all out after breakfast every day just because nobody could hear. It was nauseating. Needless to say, I wound up changing seats.
linhdaninja 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. funny.
thirdbase1733 0
some kids are still in school on Jersey
mrmaks18 7
u miss judged the timing on the book so why didn't you quickly stand up and toss a chair to get the timing right instead of being such a silly fart