Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I farted A LOT during an exam, all silent, so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I'm now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
Today, during a silent exam, my stomach made the loudest, most embarrassing growling noise possible. It was so loud that the professor looked up and some people in the room turned to look at me. The girl next to me offered me a granola bar, and I accepted, even though the growl was actually me desperately holding in a fart. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, I was working at my desk and wearing my new noise cancelling headphones. I couldn’t hear anyone around me, so I let out a nice long fart. Every desk behind me was occupied and the fart was not silent. FML
Today, I was in the middle of a chemistry exam when I felt an urgent need to fart that was difficult to hold in. I sit in the back, so I tried to do the "One Cheek Sneak." It came out sounding like a loud, obnoxious kazoo. The professor remarked, "No hazardous chemicals outside the lab!" Everyone laughed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cacheson 42
The best way to fart silently is to wiggle your butt cheeks apart so the air doesn’t flap your skin
RichardPencil 32
It's also the best way to shart.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
cacheson 42
The best way to fart silently is to wiggle your butt cheeks apart so the air doesn’t flap your skin
RichardPencil 32
It's also the best way to shart.
JackWood 21
Farts are funny
tiptoppc 21
Just think, you’ll get hired someday to take the minutes of the annual symposium of wind breakers. Pretty sure the main keynote will be so spectacular, it’ll take your breath away while not leaving a dry eye in the house. Those in front will be especially affected by the keynote produced!
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
The real question is how did they write that sound down.