Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML
Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML
Today, I thought I was all alone in the class, so I lifted up my leg and ripped a huge fart. One of my students was still in there. He told everybody. FML
Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML
Today, I farted A LOT during an exam, all silent, so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I'm now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
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Top comments
morganavery33 5
ah.
daughterofabitch 4
everyone one farts therefore you are also gross and stupid
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Comments (256)
misarei 0
you should have just squeezed your butt cheeks like in "i love you man" letting them spread is asking for it to uncontrollably be released! lol bad idea. better luck squeezing next time! :D
blackllama 0
jahahahha
LawlCakes99 0
oh newtans laws
shadowskater 0
haha similar story i was in class one day and this guy behind me coughed and when he was done coughing he was only about halfway done with his fart
miss_mojo 2
hahah. i imagined the OP as Peter Griffin. twice as hilarious. :)
jademariie 0
that made me laugh :)
CheeseHater 23
YDI for not knowing how to make silent farts, seriously. How can people not know this "trick"??? I'm disgusted everytime I hear a fart...
CLW_fml 9
lmfao
tboudre 0
timing is everything.
that1guy1985 0
OP....that is too funny!